Why does my ex bf/coworker stare at me even though he has a gf who also works with us?

I was with my ex for a couple of months. Things moved rather quickly between us, but we said we were fine with the way things were going because it felt right. A couple nights before the breakup we had an amazing date. Afterward, I was sure this was going to be a serious and long-lasting relationship. He even called me "my love." A few days later he tells me he doesn't think we should be a couple anymore. He said he didn't want me to become attached to him because he didn't know if he could love me the way I should be loved. Now, the night before I felt weird vibes after he told me he'd had a surprise visit from his mother and a family friend over the weekend. And minutes before the breakup he was on the phone with her. I've always felt there was more to the breakup.. something he wasn't telling me. The thing is, he's white and I'm black. I had asked him a few weeks into the relationship if this would be a problem for his family. In the area we live, it definitely could be. He said even if they didn't like it, it wouldn't change how he felt about me. He wanted us to be friends and still spend time together and then try again. I freaked out because it was so out of the blue. A month later we werent on speaking terms and he started dating a girl we work with. He's known her for a couple years. And she's white. What baffles me is that I catch him looking at me often. If we meet each other, he'll lock eyes with me and hold my gaze. But he and his best friend (a girl) always do stuff with this new gf. They post on facebook. They hang around each other at work like they want people to see them together and happy. Others have seen him looking too. One friend said it creeps him out. He said my ex watches me as I walk by but never does that with the new gf. Recently he had to work with me and I spoke to him professionally. We avoided eye contact until our last day. He kept looking down and there was a weird sadness in his eyes. His gf gave me weird looks too. Whats the deal?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Perhaps he regrets the manner in which the breakup came to be. Perhaps he misses you, or, and is simply attracted to you, etc. Or, perhaps he wants to reconcile with you, or not. One can only guess.

    • Thanks. Those are the thoughts that constantly swim through my mind. It messes me up. I still miss him, though I now act as if there had been nothing between us. As I said, we recently worked together, so we have spoken to each other. The way he acted with me was weird. Some days he was talkative and others he seemed as though he was annoyed I even approached him (I was basically his boss so I had to keep check on him). Before we stopped speaking we had a back and forth pattern in how well we got along. I'd get upset at times because I always felt he wasn't telling me everything and because I couldn't handle no longer being in his life the way I wanted to be. He kept saying he wanted us to be able to try again when he was ready, but I let my emotions get in the way. I know that. And I know certain things I said most likely led to him doing certain things, which I regret. I think what really holds me back from restablishing communication is because of how much of an asshole I was to him

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