Infidelity in men? Opinions from men and women welcomed!?

I know I need to be careful with this because I really don't want to suggest that all men are unfaithful and I do not want to offend anybody. I've experienced nothing but unfaithful men. It's battered my confidence and self esteem and I believe I am a good partner. I cook, clean, have a hi sex drive, men and women say I'm attractive, I work hard and earn well. I don't know why I can't find a man who can be faithful to me and it really cuts deep :( I'm starting to believe that there are no faithful men and I know how bitter and narrow minded that sounds. Please restore my faith people

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't blame yourself for this, it's not your fault they're disloyal assholes. Think about it like this, you care about them and how they feel about you right up to the moment they cheat- after that who gives a shit? They're not who you thought they were and don't deserve you. You've been unlucky, don't let other people mess with your self worth!

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What Guys Said 8

  • Monogamy isn't natural. Humans didn't evolve to be monogamous (read Sex at Dawn if you would like to know more about this). Some of us can adapt and be happy with one partner, but it's a difficult road for many people. The sad thing is most people don't know open/polyamorous relationships are an option. So people get pressured into monogamous situations which simply don't work with their personality. This should not be a reflection on you, and you should not consider yourself inadequate. What you must decide is if you require sexual fidelity to be happy, and why. Explore your feelings, and try not to take societal expectations without considering them deeply first.

    I became polyamorous a little over a year ago, and I date two people. I'm allowed to date others as long as I discuss them with my current partners and practice safe sex. My wife and girlfriend have the same rules and same freedoms, and each date other people. We've found this to be enormously successful in our lives. We have many poly friends who also do very well. Nobody worries about infidelity because it's a non-issue.

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  • Well you should really think about why men are unfaithful to you. Maybe because they see some sort of perfection in you and they get tired? Honestly you sound a very submissive woman which is ready to anything for a man. Women like you are very good-hearted but also get the worst guys sometimes. You should try to place yourself in a different way to a man. If you start on the wrong foot and look very good hearted it is very likely you'll get led on in the long run like it has happened to you.

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  • i have a question u might wanna read. im not the greatest guy in the world but it might reaffirm your belief in faithful men
    wish i could post links but im still a level one lol. so just look through my profile and tell me if it helped at all. The question is a sensitive topic but i hope my words there help.

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  • I've said it before if you as a person (this applies to men too) are continually attracting the same type of men then it is you that's the problem.

    You need to find out why you keep attracting men who will end up being unfaithful.

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  • There are loyal men out there, a lot actually. You need to find them though. The only way you can restore your faith in guys is to find a loyal one who cares for you.

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  • Nobody can restore your faith in men better than one who cares for you. Maybe you should take a different approach on how you attract and or look for men. I have found out that many problems with peoples relationships stem from a fact that they go after the same type of person or they do something over and over again expecting a different result. So what i am saying is find someone in a different environment that you normally would not. Or go for a slightly different personality type than your used too. Change or revert in your opinion, your role as u feel it is, in the relationship.

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  • Well, many guys in your age group are not going to be looking for long term relationships... they are out there, but it would appear to me that if you're all the things you say you are, then you're probably dating a "high risk" type of guy. Not all guys cheat, obviously (defining cheating as sex w/ another person), but most guys do have the propensity to cheat. We are attracted to other women and the more attractive the guy (whether looks, personality, money, or a combination thereof) it takes a certain type of guy to say "no" when the opportunity presents itself. Assuming this is a real question, just look into a guys past... if he cheated before, there's a good chance he will cheat, again.

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  • Well, I do hope you realize women are unfaithful just as often as men. Among my family and acquaintances I am unfortunately aware of quite a bit of infidelity, and roughly 85% of the cheaters have been females. I realize that's not representative of the population as a whole though, and I won't let it lead me to the conclusion that there are no faithful women out there.

    That said, I'm sorry for your experience. Most guys are not cheaters despite your experience. Most people I know are honest and faithful to their partners. Don't give up trying... you're due.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I can tell you now that the majority of men are NOT cheating douchewaffles.

    The ones that cheat do it, because they're scummy people with no morals. It has nothing to do with how good you look or how much you put out or how delicious your food is. It's their mentality, thinking that boning person after person while being in a relationship is ok.

    I mean Christ, it's not that hard to make your intentions known. Nothing wrong with an open relationship, if both parties are aware and agree to the situation.

    Don't let the selfishness of a few ruin your perception of a whole gender. It's not cool. Just look at all the sad fuckers roaming this site, crying about how all *insert gender of choice* are bad and awful and boo hoo hoooooo.

    You don't want to be that pathetic, do you?

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  • Because dudes your age don't want a relationship.

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