No contact rule. How does it work?

My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I haven't talk to him ever since. He broke up because he was confused and wasn't really sure if he wanted to be in a relationship, that he needed space to be himself and not having to depend on no one. That now is the time to do whatever he wants because if not he won't be able to do it when he is older. We were together 2 years and 8 months. We were a pretty good couple, we connected a lot. I felt like this was so random. I was always the one who contacted him or offer him to do stuff, but for the first time I actually hold myself to not contact him at all since the break up. What do you guys think about the no contact rule? does it work? how do you know if its working? and what happens next... And imagine he does come back, what should i do? Because i don't want him to think that he can do whatever he wants with me and one day he can have me and the other day he can just broke up with me... I mean maybe he doesn't even come back. I don't know. Help guys! tell me what you think:)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He needs to come to you if he broke up. I'm doing this now, I got verbally abused that I said we're done. She came back a few days later and started treating me like trash before we even begun to start getting things on track, I brought it up and boom she goes "NOW WE'RE DONE DELETE ME FROM YOUR LIFE"

    So I've not spoke to her for almost a week. Bottom line if they broke your heart they need to come back and make the case. You just need to protect you. You are a girl which means you have more power than you think in finding a guy lol.

    No contact isn't so much about game playing as it is about getting right with yourself and self introspection.

    Just be careful especially if you were the one constantly making effort as I was [he'll either be gone for good because he never cared like mine probably is... Or he'll be like Oh s* learnfromyou was awesome I messed it up and start making an effort]

    The more you engage with someone that left you the more they get an ego boost and maintain control.

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What Guys Said 2

  • well as for the no contact rule, you don't contact, simple as that. now as far as his intentions go, if you're still feeling it, you give him only 1 more chance after he has gotten everything out of his system. he can't go back and forth with you all the time, that's fucked up.

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  • hmm.. I scrolled trough a lot of those NC-subjected pages and... it`s like creating one more chance, shot to get back together again. Did you know that it`s not about the time spend but how deep the connect was when made? I can confirm that if you want to beause I have been trought the lot and that is what it`s all about... Did you match up to his expectations? Did you represent that part he felt he missed thus so far? DId you connect like there wasn`t anything that came even close to it in his past? ... NC rules: no contact for at least 30 to 90 days max, either you are he makes the first move for contact after this time-laps, be and keep casual, show them you did remember good moments and how he did progres in his time apart, let him do the talking and you can be the receiver of good news, share your happy happy experiences when you were on you own and he`ll start to wonder why you feel so good even if he is not that part your life as before ;-)

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What Girls Said 1

  • You could have continued living your life in NC without actually breaking up with him. That would've been wiser. If someone wants space, we should never refuse it. That's what create problems in relationships. And yes NC works. It brings out the best in both partners.

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