What should I do about my situation?

I am getting married in 3 months, and my boyfriend's friend told me after they have returned from a business trip that they usually go to a Asian massage parlor at the end of each week. I goggled what these places are like and i found that it's a place for erotic massages.

I did further research and watched some videos of what happens behind the doors, and i can say i am totally repulsed right now. They are nothing more than brothels i also found a site where men leave these kinds of reviews after they have been serviced and all have been saying that it's very erotic according to their descriptions. These places provide table showers and a massage with a butt play followed by a handjob.

To me this seems like a hardcore brothel, it's obvious not a regular massage parlor otherwise they would be covered with a towel and there would be no intimate touching. I just realized my boyfriend is seeing actual hookers behind my back.

I come to the conclusion that i can't marry a guy like that, i honestly want to cheat on him right now, how should i announce this to my family?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Get a buddy to go to the parlor he actually goes to.

    Not every parlor is the same. But, most likely, you're correct.

    Just tell your family that you learned things you couldn't live with.

    If you need to go get laid, maybe you should go see if they'll hire you at his parlor ;)

    • So it is really like that...

      How do i say to my Bf i have no intentions of marrying him?

    • Well, you could tell him that you can't stand him going to parlors. But, you might have to get a PI every once in awhile and keep tabs on him to make sure he's doing what he's told.

      I didn't say it was 'really like that' - I don't know what you've seen. But I have heard some stories (that's not my kink; personally I prefer having a GF) - and, in this case, I think where there's smoke there's some type of fire... But, that's why I said, investigate to see if his parlors are like that.

      I mean, I'm partial to massages and if I'm not getting them from a GF, and I've got disposable cash - I'll totally do a legit massage. I can see the allure of getting that and getting off too.

    • I can't even imagine them doing all those things to him, and he just lying there enjoying it. It is totally killing me. I definitely can't get married in such a state. I heard a lot of stories as well, i had friends who were doing this, so i am persuaded that it's really like that. I just couldn't believe it at first.

      I will dump him as well. I just can't stand this too much is too much. I don't care what his parents will say.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should ask him first. I don't know why that friend of his would lie, but there is a possibility that he is. I'm surprised you haven't confronted him yet because if someone told me that about my boyfriend the first thing I'd do would be to scream at him hahaha.

    If it turns out to be true and you end the relationship you can choose how much of the truth want to reveal to your family. Basically, it's enough to just tell them that there are serious reasons why you cannot see a future with this man. But you can also tell them the whole truth if you're comfortable with that.

    • He is not lying. My bf will probably just deny it, it's pointless confronting him.

    • I'm sorry you have to go through this. My boyfriend told me he had sex with prostitutes a few times before we started dating. It took a long time for me to get those images out of my head, even though it was before our relationship. There are times when I'm still worried he'll do it again (he was in a relationship with another woman when he went to the prostitutes). I totally understand you don't want to and can't stay with this guy. I assume you live together? How can you cope living with him? Do you have somewhere to go? Do what you feel is right. If you feel like getting drunk and having sex is what you need right now: do it, but be careful :)

    • Yeah i am fine. We can split the finances and just separate. Wow, he is very brave to tell you that, i don't think i would be able to stay with someone like that, i would be constantly paranoid. I am one of the people that believe once a cheater, always a cheater, i just don't believe cheaters change.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You should talk to him about this and explain how you feel. You also can't believe all that you read on the internet about these places. Some are "stories" and porn fueled ones at that. I'm sure some are true, but reputable licensed places DO NOT offer these services. Now, if he knows how you feel about this, he may stop going out of respect for you (should, I would). They are in no way hookers, unless illegal establishments he's going to? Most of these women would be very offended and angry if you called them hookers. No sexual intercourse happens usually.

  • Well, first and foremost, you should confront him about it. Be sure that this friend of his doesn't want to just ruin the relationship for some reason with lies and tell your fiance about what he said and see what he has to say about the matter.

    Ultimately, if he is doing it then there's nothing wrong with being upset about it and wanting to end things.

    • He is definitely not lying. There is nothing between us. I am going to confront him but I doubt he will tell me the truth. Men don't admit to things like this. It meant to be their secret and I just discovered it. I can't believe he was doing this to me all this time. It's very hard for me to process that in my head. I am going to get drunk today and have sex. I don't care about anything at the moment.

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