We've been together for 11 years before we got married. We have 2 daughters together. Just got married last year. Last month he asked me for a separation after we just went through a very busy social event summer. It seemed like we were happy through out everything. Well at least I was happy. He told me he was happy. We had one petty argument over something, even he considered small, and we never recovered from that. I am trying to be on his side to give him his space. What kills me the most is when he wakes up in the middle of the night to ask me for a kiss or a cuddle and then we end up having sex. Then when he wakes up the next morning, it's like back to the separation. He doesn't even bother having small talk with me anymore. He never used to help me so much with the chores, but now that we're separated... he's super helpful. Like he's giving me all these signs that things will be better apart from each other. But then there's the sex?
Most Helpful Guy
Well he is messing with you. Give him his separation, tell him to go somewhere else for a minimum of 3 months and allow you some space to understand that he is a weak person.
This means you don't do anything with him until after the 3 months. Draw a boundary and let him sort out his rubbish without involving you.
At the moment he is having his cake and eating it.
Sounds like there is someone else. He's helpful because he feels guilty. Wants a cuddle because he is scared of where he is going. He's insecure - poor baby. Don't give him any sympathy.
If there is someone else let him see if he can make that work without you as a fall back. But you need to stop the sex, for your health, because you don't know what or who he is messing with. He certainly isn't being honest. Kick him out, don't let him play with you. But make sure he is supporting you and his daughters.2