Husband left me, now wants to be friends?

I have a long-term (since birth) medical condition. It's usually pretty well-controlled, but it makes life hard sometimes as I can go through bad periods of sudden fatigue that leave me laid-up in bed for days on end. When I was first dating my husband, I let him know straight-up that I had this thing, so he could decide if he wanted to leave.. but he was all, "no, I'll take care of you, etc" and we got married just over a year later.

He recently left me, a year into our marriage, saying he'd had a change of heart about what he wants out of life, and that he's come to realize that he's not going to be able to fulfill his dreams of "being rich" and "owning an expensive car and a nice house" while with me.

He moved out of our rented apartment and in with some guys he works with and has been hitting clubs and bars every weekend since. I know this because he sends me text-messages at all hours telling me how drunk he is, how all these girls want him, etc.

When I see him (as I have to at the moment), he's all "you're my soul-mate but we can't be together, let's be best friends instead". Whenever I suggest starting divorce proceedings, he says stuff like "let's not get divorced because you never know what might happen between us in the future."

Is he just using me a a back-up in-case he can't meet anyone else? Should I just cut him lose indefinitely?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • plain and simple, the guy is a dick. Move on... By the sounds of it, its his loss.

    If he wants money, and a car over love and a good woman, he will end up a very lonely man, using his wads of cash to buy "love".

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stay away!!! You need to take care of yourself and not think about him! He's being totally selfish and not thinking of you and your condition! He's lost! And you don't need this.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I would cut him out. When I got married married I was in good health. I went into the army. Messed up my body a little and messed up my brain. Now she wants nothing to do with me. Only acts friendly when she wants something. We have a kid so I can't cut her off. He is just using you and trying to keep you down. If he can keep you down and/intersected he has you as a back up. No one should be with someone as a back up.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd cut him lose. You don't need that loser.

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