Really confused here?

me and my ex broke uo around 3 an half months ago now and we have still been having contact and I've seen her a couple of times since and been on holiday with her a few weeks ago for 7 days.

now we got on really well on holiday and had a good chat she says she still loves me and won't be it forever and we will work it out etc.

but since being back from holiday i realise now I've been really pushy with her wanting to speak to her about it and sort it out, I've definitely pushed her further away because on Monday when i asked if i should book time off for a wedding her friends have invited us to, she said not to bother and she doesn't know where this is all going.

she jus said she has felt pressured to make a decision and were both miserable atm and we dont want this looming over us and she wants us to both enjoy life again.

i was trying to speak to her and now she's pretty much told me im annoying her with it now cos its all she ever hears from me an she feels like she is being pursued an she just needs a break from it all just now and for me to not contact her til it all calms down.

she's unfriended me of Facebook and instagram now too an jus says its whats for the best atm an she's not cutting all ties because she still wants me in her life.

but the confusing part is i have spoke to her mum about it (got on with her well) and told her how i feel and her mum said she had hoped we would havr got it back on track after our holiday an stuff.

my ex and her mum are like best friends speak every day about anything

her mum told me she still loves me and has said that my ex has never mentioned thats its over for good. she said that she's always telling my ex how good we are together. she said all my ex has said to her is that I've pressured her and she needs time etc.

im just confused here now as my ex is telling me one thing and im hearing different, she definitely woud have told her mum if it was over for good

really confused now :/


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What Girls Said 1

  • I am going through a similar thing and one thing I have noticed you can push them further away by pressuring your ex. I have done just the same. If I were you and I know this is easier said than done but go no contact for at least 2 weeks (im starting tomorrow). It will give her a breather to pick what she wants. Don't doubt she loves you, you know this but you need to give her space to figure herself out.

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    • definitely and i so wished i had listened to previous advice and not contacted her and let it get this bad to delete me off Facebook and everything else.

      she would have def said to her mum if it was over for good so just a bit weird she tell me that?

      we are on no contact now after she said she feels pressured and is sick it of it an wants to be left till it calms down she said.

      her mum is convinced she will come round and speak to me again, sorta jus feels as if she won't though

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    • just really hope she does, absolutely kicking myself for pushing her to this though feel as if I've made it 10 times worse.

      im just going to leave it til she contacts me as if i initiate any contact will just make it even worse now.

      just keeo thinking now I've lost her forever cos she said those things, but i know she says things she doesn't mean.

      when i said to her its like u want me gone for good she jus said im putting words in her mouth.

    • Yeah we all say things in anger, I know it's harder said than done but space is the key. That's what I'm telling myself. Also get a notepad and write your feelings down it will help.

What Guys Said 1

  • You seem to be smothering her man, and seems she has let you know that on multiple occasions... she needs space. we are men, we are usually one option or the other (3 max). girls are more like one option or 20,000 others. give her some time to get her mind right, you just go on ahead and make yourself a better man for WHEN she comes back to you... because she will.
    (basically, stop talking to her, about her, and to people around her)
    feel me?

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    • yeh man i get u, just alarms me she has deleted me off pretty much everything last thing i said to her was i realise how much i have pushed her with it and should have just left her to it.

      i just said to her i would leave her to it for a bit a d speak to me when she wants and her mum has said the same.

      maybe telling me to pretty much move on and doesn't wanna speak at the moment, is the only way she thinks i won't push anymore, i don't know :s not spoke to her since i sent that on Thursday now

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    • yeh i know what u mean well she already told me on Thursday when she deleted me from Facebook an stuff that she needs peace for a bit and she doesn't wanna talk to me atm.

      but no I've not sent anything since that and im continuing not to.

      just when she spoke to me its all get on with your life etc but her mum says different :S

      just thought was weird how she told me pretty much move on but hasn't said anything to her mum.

      just fear I've lost her for good but its probably me overthinking it, thanks for the advice man and will keep rhe no contact up and hopefullt she will speak to me again

    • seems like she gave you advice before i did... girls tend to do that.. sometimes. do that and get your answer.. if she said she still loves you, u may have damaged your chances by not backing up earlier.. but what do we know about how women's minds work? she may still come to you.

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