Need help, I'm really missing a girl I used to be in love with?

I was with this girl for three years and we were always together, we couldn't be separated. After three years, she left me for another guy. It hurt so much, and she even told me that I was the sweetest guy she ever met and I would be a great catch for anyone. I graduated, she still goes to high school, we are only a couple years apart. I haven't talked to her in about a year, but I just all of a sudden started thinking about her and I want to cry... I thought the pain would stop because I met someone new, but she just reminds me of the last girl. I don't think I have a chance with her anyway, and I don't know if I could be with her because she reminds me so much of the last girl. I need to get her out of my head, because there is no mending that relationship. I care about her a lot still, but I don't know how to let go...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Let yourself be upset. You may have rushed yourself into moving on since she did so fast. It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel upset, it's okay to reminisce. But it's only okay to a certain extent. Crying one night isn't the end of the world, all you have to do is pick yourself up and work towards a positive tomorrow. I'm assuming she was your first love? Someone you imagined spending your life with? Another will come along. Only a lucky few marry their first loves, and trust me, you've learned a lot from being in love with her. But you will never fully be over her, and in order to heal you need to accept that. You will love many people throughout your life, and just because one is taken away from you, it doesn't mean that you can't go on. You're a strong person, and although she's no longer part of your life, you're allowed to love her, but not in the way you used to. Love what she taught you about life and love, love that she made you feel happy, love that you had the chance to love her. But also love that she gave you the opportunity to find love in other people as well. You will find love, don't rush it (you don't want a rebound). I hope you heal with time, and you will always carry her around in your memories, it's normal and it's okay.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't focus on the new girls qualities, as a reminder. Focus on all her qualities, as things you like about her as an individual. We can all pick out stuff about one person, that reminds us of another. But it's pointless. Ignore those thoughts, thu aren't worth anything. Actively concentrate on enjoying the girl you are with now and all the other stuff should fade, as you build a stronger connection with her.
    Move on from the past, love.

  • Hey, I was in love with this guy. I'll make it short here. We loved each other so much, but we couldn't get together because of ethnical problems (urgh Asians). I've done so much for him, I was there for him all the time. One day, he stopped texting me for about 10 days and suddenly I saw he posted a selfie with this girl. After doing some checking, I was finally 100% sure that they've been seeing each other for a few weeks then.
    I was completely crushed. I never cried over a boy before that. We've known each other for 3 years, and he left me for a girl whom he just met on set. He was a singer. His endorsements and songs were everywhere. Even on TV. I tried so hard to get rid of him, but it was so damn hard. Everything was just a constant reminder of him.
    I drown myself into games, family, friends. I went out a lot and finally I could forget him. We even text each other once in a while, but that feeling has completely gone.

    Even if it's hard, you'll eventually need to find someone new to replace the old one. You'll always be reminded of the old one if you don't have a new one.

    Try not to think about her or anything that reminds you of her. Go out and have some fun. Do your hobbies, go to work, anything. Sounds easy to say, but it's true. It takes time, but you'll get there. Hang on! :)


What Guys Said 2

  • You have to let go and move forward and realize that the girl has moved on and no longer has any interest in you anymore and normally girls in high school tend to just not know what they want and they move from guy to guy even when they have the right guy and there's nothing you can really do about that.

    The best thing you can do to let her go is get rid of her completely, no more pictures, nothing on ur phone or on Facebook or anything nothing reminding you of her none of her stuff at your place etc.

    The next thing you need to do is remember she has moved on and doesn't care about you anymore so you have no chance of getting back with her so it's time for you to man up and move on.

    Now get busy don't sit around moping and if dating is only making you think of her more than stop dating and instead hang out with boys and go have fun do some sports or go workout at the gym doing activities and exercise is a good way to relieve stress and also help you be more positive which will help you move forward.

    The main thing you just got to remember is she has moved forward she doesn't think about you anymore she's got a new guy and there's nothing you can do to change that but move along and enjoy your life and do better than her.

    • Thanks for the help man, I appreciate it a lot

  • First of all, it's ok to date someone that has similar qualities as your ex. You liked her for a reason right? So it makes sense that you'd be attracted to those qualities in another girl. But what you also need to do is think about what she has that is different from your ex. Does she act differently in certain situations. See her as a new person and not just a reincarnation of your ex. Because if you don't do that, you will have the same problem with the next girl that comes along. I know this because I went through it. And it tool me a little while to get over it. You have a type. You just have to recognize that's what it is. You don't like her because she reminds you of her ex, you like her because she has good qualities. Some of which your ex also had.

    You should also take more time to let go of the negative emotions surrounding the breakup with your ex. You're still hurt over it for good reason. But talking to her again won't fix that. You need to handle it on your own


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