Should I be Angry With This Dude?

So my ex broke up with me and said we could remain friends. I didn't like that idea at first, but had no choice since we are somewhat in the same circles.

After 2 months of NC, I saw her at an event. I was nervous about approaching her to say hello, but the encounter was amicable enough, if not awkward. I saw her again at another event about a week later and she invited me to sit at her table. We had a friendly chat until this dude came over and started hitting on her right in front of me. He knew I dated her and that we were broken up. Technically, there was nothing I could do, but I still thought it rude on his part. It also seemed like ex was enjoying the attention (I don't think they actually went out). The whole thing really hurt, but since she was no longer my girl, I could do nothing but put up a brave face. To be honest, I was hoping I could ease my way back into a reconciliation, ever so slowly.

However, that whole scene made me angry, jealous, and confused. I then went out and socialized with other girls. This got back to my ex and when I saw her a month later (that dude was still hanging around her, trying to pick her up), my ex acted very rudely and cold to me when I said hello. I basically ruined my chances of getting back with her by being seen with other women. But, then again, she was the one who broke us up, said we could be friends and seemed to be flirting with another dude in my presence.

I don't see my ex much now, but that dude is still coming around since he is friendly with some of my friends. I try to be civil, but there is always this underlying tension between us. Part of me wants to knock his teeth out because if he hadn't approached my ex in front of me, she and I may have had a chance again. Maybe, maybe not. Another part of me thinks that if it wasn't him, it would have been someone else and that my ex is ultimately responsible for the fallout.

Thoughts? Thanks.

Updates:
so, i will avoid the ex and try to avoid the dude. i don't see a reason to be friendly to him.

but, what about the gossipy female friends who told my ex about me and other girls? is it ok to be cold to them, one in particular. she is not my friend, but i see her here and there. i don't even know if she is really my ex's friend as i am sure she took joy out of telling my ex i was with other girls.

all this happened AFTER my ex dumped me, mind you.

thanks.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The guy was foul for interrupting your chat with your ex to flirt with her. I mean, prior to his approach, as far he could tell, you could have been in the process of reconciling with her or discussing an important issue. As such, his intrusion was inappropriate and perhaps disrespectful.

    Anyway, I am convinced you should let it slide. If she wanted to reconcile with you, she would have disallowed his advances and considered your feelings.

    Move on, man, to better things. Let them have each other.

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    • Thanks, bro. You understand exactly how I feel. Yes, she was technically free, but I felt like the dude thought I was a nobody to walk over. I certainly feel confident to take him in a fight, but in this case, I feel the ex may have been just as fault or more.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • The only one that seems to be getting hurt is you, if you can remain friends with your ex , you were either, never in love at all or you still are. being friends wit an ex is too complicated, i think your better off distancing yourself from her for a while , and i certainly wouldn't advise you to be friends with that dude, what on earth would be the point of that!! That is not a situation i would put my own heart through,

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  • aaaw you're jealous! i don't think it's his fault. i think you should hang out a little with him and maybe be friends. also your ex doesn't seem that she wants to be back with you so i believe you should move on

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    • Yes, I was jealous. He and I will never be friends... too awkward.

    • ah i know how you feel. well i thinkl you really need to move on., and something most people secretly love but don't admit it is that they love it when an ex boyfriend cling over them because they love attention

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't think you should be angry and honestly think about this... It was ok for her to flirt with him but "not ok" for you to flirt with other girls. She's a hypocrite and this should be more reason for you to avoid her. I honestly feel she was getting off thinking of the possibility of you getting hurt seeing her being advanced on and I find that to be very unhealthy and manipulative behavior. I see this girl as bad news. I also don't believe in "blowing chances" as if things are one time. If something's meant to be, it's meant to be. Yes, someone else woulda probably stepping in if it weren't for him. Let this guy have the troublesome girl. It's his downfall anyway.

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  • I understand your feelings towards that other guy. If she was cold to you when you said hello after being seen with other girls, she might have felt jealous as well. If both of you are jealous about each other, shouldn't you guys talk this out? I'd suggest trying to be honest with her, and see what she wants.

    If she doesn't ever want to be with you again or anything, I'd suggest taking your distance from her. No need to put yourself into that position where your heart breaks every time a random guy approaches her. As you said, she is free to do what she wants since she is not your girl. Can't do anything about it and punching every dude (though tempting) isn't the way to go about this. She'd probably only feel sorry for the other guy and you'd be the bad one.

    Again, talk and be honest with her and take it from there.

    Good luck.

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  • That's why you stay away from exes. The dude's doing nothing wrong. From his perspective she's a single girl hanging with her ex. He has no way to know you're still pining for her.

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    • Ok,.. thanks fort the comment. One of my lame friends thinks it's possible to be friends with exes. I always thought no and this is why.

    • You can be friends with exes only after you have both moved on.

  • i understand you bro, but you gotta understand as well that you have nothing now, so that guy can do as much as he pleases with your ex. Also she could broke up with you in the first place! I know you love her, but she broke up with you, she dumped you! She doesn't really love you like maybe you love her. You should not under any circumstance go back with her, have some pride and honour man, she totally disrespect you as a man and as a person. The other thing is this girl wants to have you around as a distraction as your boy toy, to give her compliments to feel attractive and what not. Trust me when i tell you, if she actually care for you and not wanted to have you as anythign anymore, she would have not got jealous or mad over you talking to other girls. Plus congrats! that is exactly what you should have done, talk to other girls, fuck other girls, have some fun, meet other people be free! And if the right girl comes, date her instead.

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    • ha ha... thanks, man... part of me is glad i was seen with other chicks.

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