8yrs together, 5 yr old Son, special needs. Dad addicted to many things. went to rehab. Left us. Has a gf now, refuses divorce, attorney general y?

8 years together. He had a double life apparently. Escorts , side girls, drugs and lots of alcohol, happy hours in tech sales lead to a 4th rehab in 4 years. Recently out of a 90 day center. Left us, got a GF..

Our son, 5 yr old has had major medical adversity. Thought terminal for awhile but greatly improved. Health in remission.
Almost typical kid.. I had stayed home for 3 years to do the around the clock care. Now, scrambling to get on my feet. Having not wk in years I'm irrelevant. Trying to get back in school, move out into something I can afford. Just started working a 10$ job. : / looking for a 2nd. I don't have family on either side to help. It's just me and our kido.

Refuses divorce and going through attorney general. This forces us to communicate more.

I want to be out of this total. Cut the ties...
He doesn't want me out of his life totally. Says I'm amazing, someone will be lucky to have me. Will love me as I'm awesome.
He is mean, if I try to cut ties, he is nicer. Much nicer... For awhile...
Yet, we bump heads a lot. He stands up our Son for visitation regular. So I asked he give up his rights, he also refuses.
When he is with our Son he isn't aware of much but his cell phone. Bills are still mutual. I can see the phone bill and he always texting or on phone w/gf on visitation time. Do I know my Son isn't exaggerating. My Son feels invisible, unprotected, scared of his fathers anger. He doesn't know how to parent. Haven't been sober in Sons life. Hasn't learned, but not emotionally avaible to now.

I don't understand the refusal for divorce, the attorney general.. He left us! ?
Why stand up our Son?
Why not let me go?

I know he feels guilt because our Son hasn't coped well (or me) with him walking away without a conversation about it.

Any thoughts : /


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  • He does not want a divorce which will force him to pay child support and his nice lifestyle will change. he will have to curb his drug use, loose the gf and possibly get another job to care for his child.

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    • I questioned that. He pays well in childsupport currently. About 2 grand. But dropping to 1 grand next yr...

    • That aside.. Actually ur right! Lots of details but something just clicked. Thank you!

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