Please help, I want to know if I should leave my boyfriend w/ a drinking problem!?

My boyfriend of 2 years has an alcohol issue. When he drinks he binges and he's belligerent and mean when he's drunk. 3 weeks ago I had it and left for the night, he came where I was sobbing that he was so sorry and has been blind up what he's put me through and promised to change. He said he would drink 1x a week and limit himself. Last night he went out (2x this week) and got so drunk they stopped serving him at one bar. Spent all his $ then went after mine. When we got home he was rough with my dog and she bit him. He kicked her in the face. Then he'd tell me how much he loves me and then he'd tell me I'm a fat bitch c***. When he's not drinking he is 100% the person I want to be with. When he drinks he's the opposite. I'm tired of being scared and anxious, I'm not the person I used to be. But I hate the thought of leaving someone I love if I think there's hope he'll change. I feel weak, when I used to think I was so strong. I wish he would realize what he's losing and What he's doing to himself. I feel broken.
We have had so many talks about his actions and my feelings and he says he just likes to party. He's 30 and I was hoping he would want to settle down with me, not be throwing his entire paycheck on alcohol. He tells me he has control over it and only drank 3 times those 3 weeks. Those weeks were the most peaceful I've had. We've tried this every which way it just makes me sad to lose someone to alcohol.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Everybody is going to say yes, and I know if I were you, I would. The only person who can decide is you though, even if you listen to everybody on here, if it isn't what you deep down want to do, you'll only go back to him.

    You know yourself that it's not going to get better, and you know deep down what you need to do. Is there even a point in this? Can you see yourself with him long term or forever? If it's forever, will you really want to bring kids into this or have this kind of life till you're an old woman? So really, you know it can't go anywhere anyway.
    You love him so you stay, even though he puts you through hell. His love for you should also give him motivation.
    Sometimes, when we've been with somebody a while, we think it's our duty to stay and try and help them, but it's not, and everybody knows nobody can be helped unless they deep down really badly want to quit.

    You're not weak either. The strongest people can be ground down, but the strength is still in them, it just needs a little boost. It's hard to give up on people we love, it's hard to lose hope for people we love, but sometimes we just need to snap ourselves into reality and admit the truth.

    He kicked your dog? That's so messed up. I've heard stories of boyfriends like him who went to go and kill the pet in the end. He has no self control, this is why he can't say no to alcohol and can't stop saying and doing horrible things.
    And think of your family and friends, imagine any of them were going through this, imagine how you'd feel and how you'd feel even worse when they didn't leave the person. Imagine how your parents would feel if they knew everything, it'd break their hearts.

    You know what you need to do. Just brace yourself, give yourself time to quietly sort things out for leaving him, then once everything is ready. Go. Don't look back.
    My best friend has a boyfriend just like yours, I wish she would have half the courage you do. She doesn't even consider leaving him.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Drinking problem is never good in the long run, urge him to quit binge drinking. Tell him about his actions while being drunk and the consequences/effects on your relationship/bond.

  • maybe he's got a problem that he is not open to talk about to anyone
    thats why he escaes it by drinking... gain his trust talk about the hidden matter :)


What Girls Said 2

  • Oh my gosh girl, I'm so sorry that you're in this situation. First of all, you have to stay strong. I think you should leave him, but give him an ultimatum. Tell him that unless he goes to rehab, or A A and changes his drinking habits for good with professional help, it is just not safe for you to be with him. Tell him you're scared of him. You shouldn't have to be afraid of your boyfriend, and if he's not willing to change for you, then he doesn't deserve you. Good luck, and keep me updated!

  • If you love him you would stop him or use psychology point out people who have maybe complete messes of themselves bc of alcohol so that he'll be afraid of becoming them


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