What's the nicest way to say "YOU'RE DEAD TO ME"?

There is a man I regret. I knew I was making the wrong choices as I made them, I was in denial over what I had with him... I don't blame him for all that went down because I knew better! I feel ashamed for letting it happen and for the way that i acted, so i coped by trying my best to erase it all from my memory so that it never happend and I wouldn't have any wounds to pick at because i'm extremely emotionally fickle.
Unfortunately I ran into him and the best I could do was cover my face with my hair and keep my distance.
I don't want to fear being reminded of him and what i went through, I just want to stand my ground on how i've decided to heal and move on, and not come off bitter about it! He is the kind of guy who prides himself on being friendly, he knows he really broke me but I can see him thinking its okay to approach me after all this time, being as nice and likable as he thinks he is...
i don't want to dwell, i just want to be prepared and say the right thing. So if he ever did come up to me I thought I should say: "I dont want to hear you, think of you, or see you ever again. Have a nice life!" - but I would mean it/say it in the nicest way possible! No bitterness! Does that work? Can any of you think of something good that can come out nicer? Quick to say, straight to the point?
Fuck these situations suck =.= how do you deal?
I want to walk away on good terms, i know its hard given what i'm trying to express, but what i'm trying to say is that i dont hate him and i forgive him, i just want to leave him behind along with everything that happend. I think he'll feel that us making small talk means were okay, but i want him to understand that not acknowledging each other anymore isn't a bad thing. I dont want to know how he's doing, i dont want to tell him how i'm doing, but i wish him well.
And i want to do that with a few words as possible


Most Helpful Guy

  • Next time he talks to you say something like this:"I forgive you for what you did but I dont feel comfortable being around you since it brings up painful memories. I wish you happiness in your life but I would appreciate if you and I could just go our separate ways"

    I think that meets your criteria. Its honest, short/to the point, non confrontational, and not mean or hateful.

    • Aww thats too nice tho! He doesn't deserve nice words, just a nice tone

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    • LOL!!! I was just thinking that! And just as i refreshed the page i imagined you responding "why dont u just say that" hahaha what a coincidence! Yay i think we have a winner :) its sounds nicer than my original line and its shorter so i'm less likely to choke on my words XD i'll add "have a nice life" as i walk away... yeaaahhh haha

    • Well glad I could help you find your answer 😄

      However I think you should say:

      "i dont hate you (BUT) i never want to see you again"

      That makes more sense than saying

      "i dont hate you (AND) i never want to see you again"


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What Guys Said 3

  • There's no "nice" way to say this. The only apropriate way to say this is to be completely cold (no emotion at all), and be downright honest. Tell him EXACTLY how you feel, and that you simply doesn't want him in your life. No excuses, no explanation, no need to validate your claim. Simpy tell him exactly what you want to, then leave him.
    Walk away without looking back.

    • Thing is i want it to be nice, i dont want it to be cold, i want him to get the message without him feeling negatively about me or himself. I want to it to feel neutral. I want to make cold words warm, i just want to know if thats as warm as i can get or if i can get warmer! I'm not looking to be a bitch and take a jab at him, it just want to verify where i stand on our relationship.

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    • Yeah i'll try!! I'm also afraid it will come off sarcastic if i try to say it nicely, can't really win! Talking to a stranger is the best way to put it, i'm going to keep that in mind!!!

    • it's tricky to say. And with the "you're dead" talk, less is more. Don't make it long. Keep it short and say only what you intend to say.

  • Just say "I'm sorry", make a grimace, and politely gesture him away, and walk off.

    I think trying to explain yourself and thinking up a long speech is counterproductive to what you want to do. You should ignore him using as little words and effort as possible.

    • I have a history with him, he was my first love, a 1 and a half struggle, i spent a long weekend with him and his parents, i feel he deserves an itty bitty reason and a slightly forgiving tone, or do you still think i should be cold?

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    • I think it's impossible to ignore someone and not have bad blood lol. For the ones that ended on good terms, I'd give a nice smile to. The ones that ended on bad terms, I'd just give a nod of acknowledgement.

    • Our terms were iffy, i tried to be amicable but i was falling apart at the same time. I want to set it straight by confirming i dont want to acknowledge his existence but not because i hate him.

  • Give him a list of dating sites!


What Girls Said 2

  • "I'm disinclined to talk to you."

    • Nice! Comes out casually quite easily, i like it

  • ”go away” ?

    • Thats rude haha not what i'm going for

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