Do you keep presents given by your ex after you have broken up?

I'm currently in my first serious relationship and everything is going great, so the question is not about me.

Back when I was still a teenager, this guy broke up with my best friend; he kept egging her on to have sex (she wanted to wait until marriage and told him that from the start) and when he finally realized she wasn't going to budge, he dumped her for some other woman.
When they split, he actually came to her house to pick up all the presents he has given her over the course of the relationship (be it birthday gifts or plain out of the blue surprises). She didn't plan on keeping them anyway and was boxing everything up to go to his and drop it off, but what happened was that he actually called and ASKED her to return everything, then came down and picked up the box.
Yep, he asked her to return menial things like plush toys, some articles of clothing and a necklace that wasn't really worth anything, but had sentimental value.

Really, dude? Congratulations on winning the biggest douche of the universe award.
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I've parted with many friends over the years and never did it cross my mind to call them and ask for stuff back that I've given them for their birthdays and such. That's just really shitty, you know?

If you break up, do you keep the gifts that were given to you? Do you return them? Throw them away? Does it depend on the type of gift?

I think if you bought something for your gf/bf like an engagement ring or car or something equally expensive, then they broken up with you a week later, it's reasonable to ask for it back.
If I were to break up with my boyfriend, I'd return all the expensive gifts, because it just wouldn't feel right keeping them. And based on how we parted (good terms or bad) I'd either keep the smaller gifts or throw them away.

What are your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I've never had a gf but that seems kinda pathetic. I could understand if it was like a car, maybe a family heirloom but cheap stuff like clothes or stuffed animals, that's just sad.

    Personally I'd just let her keep everything unless like I said it was a car, but I'm not really not the type of guy that would buy a girl car. I'd go for low-med value gifts with some sort of meaning/sentimenal value.

    Would I keep the gifts she bought me?
    Eh, well I'm not real big on getting gifts. I like money so I can pick out what I want. It really depends on how the relationship ended.

    If we grew apart and it was a mutual thing I'd keep them in a box for the memories. I'd try to keep them out of sight/out of mind so that I could move on more easily but I don't think I'd trow them away.

    However if she had cheated on me, I'd either burn the gifts, throw them away, sell them
    or
    put them in a box, go over to her place, hand her the box and tell her to shove it :)

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    • Makes sense.

      Hell, my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years, but if we were to break up, I couldn't keep the car he bought me last year. :I

    • Show All
    • A LOT of people jump into marriage without even realizing what responsibility they're taking on. If you marry someone after knowing them for a year, I guarantee that relationship will last 5 years tops. And if they haven't lived together prior? Even less. Courts tend to be very sexist against men and while I don't know the number of divorce statistics exactly, I do know that many many men are fucked in the ass by the legal system in regards to family matters.

      A guy I used to work with has been going out for 7 years with the same woman. They finally decided to get married. Guess how quickly they split up? Less than a year. They haven't lived together, only moved in after the wedding. Seven years of going out VS some months living together. And it was an ugly split up as well, with lots of money owed by her to him. Luckily she didn't take the path of trying to fuck him out of his inheritance, but she still sunk her teeth quite deep into it.

    • Yeah that makes sense. The living together part seems like it's the most important. Dating and cohabitating are completely different ballgames. I guess this is pretty acurate...

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Yes I do.

    Main reason being that most girls doesn't want their gifts back, nor does they want me to pay them back for their gifts.

    I guess it doesn't remind me of fond memories. Not anymore. But rather, I keep them like battle scars. Like, this is what I went through, it was tough, but I'm still here and doing well today.

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    • oh by the way it wasn't a peaceful ending either. Pretty much blowing up, not seeing eye-to-eye, and hoping to never have to see each other again.

    • I feel bad about throwing away presents in general, regardless who gives it to me. Took me years to throw away some crappy gifts I received from old friends, even though they were pretty useless items.
      I think I could only throw them away, if we parted on bad terms i. e. cheating or something.

    • icic. I would definitely keep the gifts if we parted on good terms or we remained good friends after the breakup. It's a nice reminder.

      But like i said, I'll also keep the gifts from bad memories too. It's a reminder to not screw up again.

  • If it just remembers you of a good time, and if you people broke up as friends, why not keep a present you got from your ex? No need to throw eveything in the trash at the end of a relationship. In the end you've had good times together :-)

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    • See, that's what I mean. If you parted on good terms, some stuff might serve as sweet memories. But then, if say the person cheated on you - most don't want that sort of memorabilia.

    • Agree! Than most would dump it :-)

  • I'd keep them as a reminder of happier times. Still, I wonder if this guy's house is full of girly presents from his ex-es or does he just regift the same stuff over and over again.

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    • Ikr? Sounds so pathetic.

      Would you keep them as reminders of happier times, if you broke up due to cheating?

    • Probably. It's nice to have reminders regardless of situation. They keep you on your toes.

  • Well I burn all the love letters one of my exes gave me, but keep a stuffed bear her little sister made for me for my birthday. It's currently my new cat's sleeping companion.

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    • Well, her little sister has nothing to do with it, does she? I wouldn't get rid of gifts given by a boyfriend's family member or friend.

      Dunno, though. I'd burn love letters, if the break up was due to cheating. If we drifted apart, I'd probably keep the letters as fond memories.

  • so far as you dont love each other you return it back so you dont think about him again and face your new life

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'd probably keep the valuable stuff and throw away/put everything else in a box and hide it somewhere. I wouldn't return them, that would be silly. They were given to me as presents. I doubt he'd want them more than me. Your friend's ex sounds like a very rare exception. Asking someone to give back the stuff you GAVE them as PRESENTS is really childish, in my opinion. Sure, if I borrowed something from him (like a sweater) and he wanted it back, I'd give it back immediately. But if he actually bought me a sweater and gave it to me as a present, I don't really understand why he'd want it back, or what he would want to do with it.
    That being said, if I gave him presents, I wouldn't want them back either. He can do whatever he wants with them, since they're his and I wouldn't do anything with them.

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    • Oh no, this was not borrowing. These were birthday, Valentine's, etc gifts and he deliberately made a call to make sure she has the stuff ready for him to come and collect.

      You just don't ask for presents back, that's beyond douchey. Return out of your own accord? Sure, many people do that. But to ask is just... lame. :/

  • I kept a mug one of them gave me.

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