My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. Things between us have been great. I can honestly see how happy we really are together. We had plans to move in next year together and we both were looking forward too it. A little background on we'll say "Suzy". She is in the nursing program at my college and she is having a tough time with school. Her dad passed away a few years ago. Also had an abusive relationship prior to me. We both got out of a 1 year relationship 3 months prior to dating.
As I said before she was having a tough time with school and her mom. That she cries all everyday how stressful it is and how much she hates her mom. Her mom is severely depressed and started dating a guy 1 month after her dad died. I drove up to see her for the weekend to take her out and get her mind off of things and give her my car since hers was in the shop. Once I got there she was teary eyed, said she loved me and how perfect I was. She abruptly ended it with me. She said she's only 22 and she's young, she feels a lot of pressure with me. She also said she's not ready to move in again next year. She said she couldn't be committed to me anymore. She doesn't want me to wait fr her. That was honestly one of the worst experiences of my life. I have been there for this girl so many times... I was there for her when some of her family members passed away, her moms depression, Suzy's precancerous tumor. She begged me to never give up... and she gave up on me...
As soon as I got home after being dumped, she decided to change her Facebook around. It seemed to quick and cold. I understand going 4-6 months then commitment becomes and issue. But a year and a half? That seems odd. She tried opening up a joint bank, dropped hints my sister in law with what ring she wanted, she brings it up more than me. And last week she bought me a gift. And during the week she said she misses and loves me.
Do you think its commitment issues, depression, GIGS, or just over it?
Most Helpful Guy
OK first off.. what is GIGS? i wana learn. Secondly, you said she was in an abusive relationship before you. Have you ever heard of whiplash? girls don't adapt as fast as guys, somewhere deep in her psyche she is thinking you would turn abusive. and i can tell from your description that you care a lot, and that she feels something too but mind you, women are driven by their feelings not themselves like we are. she may like you (even love you) but her feelings which were hurt before keep reminding her about the previous abuse. you said both of you got into it 3 months after your previous relationships? girls who have been abused need time, space, care and as much tenderness as you can muster. she didn't dump you because she didn't like you, she dumped you because she feared you would turn into HIM (insert previous bf here).
seems like she wants you to keep fighting by her against her feelings... its a tough fight, you need a lot of stamina.. do you have that kind of stamina? ( i know there were days i wanted to pull my hair out... metaphorically) If you don't, i suggest you leave now. If you do (which i sense you do, plus you are on here) i say take a deep breath, calm down, be as gentle as possible and every time you talk to her, Reassure her that you will be there... even after all that you still need patience... lol0