he upset me a lot, and he did not even fight for us, and when i said and initiated the breakup, he just told me lame stuff about long distance which we managed successfully for 8 months and seeing each other every two months for two-three weeks.. he was my longest (2 years) and first of everything. then after bu for 3 months of nc and then we talked couple times but very formal. it was sad for me that he was at his hometown with his friends and family easily moving over, but i am tons of miles and continent away from my family for education purposes and i was having hard time and depressed and was hard to move on. I managed to move on by keeping myself extremely busy, letting myself heal, cry, journal and everything. and it has been 8 months i am much better and stronger.
recently i have heard what is written on the headline and for a moment i felt happy that he did not succeed, as he gave me one of the reasons to focus on his studies.
but then like 10 seconds later i felt super bad that i had a smile on my face, which was very obvious. i wish him all the happiness and everything that he wants and i knew that i couldnt heal at all if i did not let him go without anger or hatred. i dont want any hatred invading a piece of my heart cuz i am afraid it will prevent me from finding the true love or loving someone truthfully. and that attitude and idea was the way that helped me moving on
but what is it inside of me suddenly having pleasure from his failure?
is this normal?
Most Helpful Guy
He hurt you so you want to see him hurt, but its good you realized it was bad and yes you are normal :)0