My mum wants a divorce. My dad doesn't. I'm 30. Should this still annoy me?

My dad is depressed and sad. He doesn't want the divorce.

My mum wants to be independent PLUS she is almost sure (so am I) that he was cheating on her for a long time. She feels fine and the cheating is also providing her with an excuse to do what I suspected she wanted for a long time (ie be free).

In the middle of this, I think my mum has all the right to do what she wants, still I'm sad for my dad because he's depressed and doesn't want the divorce at all.

They didn't have an awesome relationship, but didn't interfer too much with each others' lives so there were not many fights and the environment was quite ok.

I suspect one of the reasons my dad doesn't want the divorce is because he's gonna lose half of the money. I know he also likes my mum, but I suspect the money issue is a larger part of the issue (in his mind) than it should be.

I'm upset by all of this...
baaaaaa

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Most Helpful Guy

  • baaaaa = for your more complicate life to come, esp. holiday travel - UGH
    Since you weren't asked but if want to put a spin on this ball fast rolling downhill, you could erect some billboards for them to contemplate.

    Let's revisit how you'll be doing more traveling & seeing strangers/dates on holidays = PITA (pain... ass)
    to this you might address your problem and resolve it by saying "you two will have to decide WHICH I'll visit each holiday - it's too much trouble to see both"

    How about WHO they date?
    "I reserve the right to avoid visiting when I reject who your dating"

    and so on

    If you are the altruistic type, then you'll only want both of them to be happy.
    Money comes & goes, we have no control over it except hard work & luck.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know, it's horrible isn't it. People think only young children are upset about divorce, and many parents even wait till the kids are adults to divorce because of it, but it's just as hard on adults to. Especially if they've always been married, and have been married for such a long time. You're in your 30s so I'm assuming they've been married for that long if not longer, and when these very long marriages break down, it can be even more upsetting.
    My parents are divorcing now to, and all I can say is keep out of it. Don't get involved in any arguments. When they moan at you about the other one, just nod, don't get involved. When they go too far moaning about the other, remind them you still love the other and you love them both divorced or not so you'd appreciate them toning it down a little.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You can be upset about this no matter how old you are. It's a shitty situation.

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  • Nope. You're in your thirties so they're in their fifties right? They're old enough to handle everything by themselves, especially if your dad cheated.

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  • they might be your parents but THEY are old enough to know what is good for them

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