I broke up up with him, did I do the right thing?

We've been on and off for a while. I don't think he ever quite recovered from his first relationship that lasted nearly his entire young adult life, beginning when he was just 14 and ending in his early twenties. even though it's been a while, I think he is emotionally spent, like he just doesn't want to go there, doesn't want feelings, wants a "stress free" life and says I "stress him out" with relationship questions. this second time around I though things would be different because we both know why it ended before, we weren't official and he got jealous. He said some mean things about it, nothing outright insulting because he makes an effort to be a kind and caring person. after a long while of not talking again (told him not to) late night calls from in started coming in and increasing. I missed him and I thought he knew things had to be different this time or the same exact thing would happen. which it has, he can not commit, he keeps me at a distance. I ask for compromise but he says any compromise means relationship, which he can't do, with anyone. I was so surprised that he thought he could do this again, I told him I can't, he mean mean, cold, even though I was crying, and asking him to compromise and he told me "you've made your decision what is there to compromise." I told him to never call me again, I know from the past that that hurts him, the first time I said it he begged me not to. when I broke it off last night he acted cold, distant, and cruel in tone. Even beside all of this I've never had a better time with anyone and aside from this he was always so caring of me, attending things important to me, being there when I needed him. we know everything about each other. I still love him, but I can't be with some one who keeps me at a distance on purpose. I again told him not to call, but will he? could it ever be different?

  • you ended it, he's come back twice, guys like that come back, but don't accept the same thing again
    Vote A
  • I don't think he'll try again, he doesn't care, he's done
    Vote B
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I told him to forget about me, I was so hurt, I just didn't understand why he tried this again as if there would be a different outcome
I guess I just really hope he can figure himself out, I really love him

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh I guess I could help you out for this one because it's happening with me right now, don't talk about relationship, keep it simple the ball is with him he has the lead! What you should do is text him simple messages, half friendly, half flirty, don't maje moves to get closer to him when you see him don't reply to him directly create a time gap and slowly slowly he will open up don't be over emotional good luck ;)

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    • thank you:)

    • Show All
    • I want to get over it right now, but do you think he'll come back?

    • He will if you know how to talk to him, if that's what you want then play your cards well, but if you don't want to be with him and simply finish it then don't text him and if u have to reply to him just be dry. Which means don't ask him questions just simple answers, with time you will forget. Its your d├ęcision pick one dont be confused

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you need to figure yourself out and stop telling him never to call you when you don't mean that.
    Mixed messages only result in confusion and an uncertain outcome. Try saying things as they are may help?
    Men don't read minds. Please understand that. We just can't do it. Never could. Never will.

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    • well I know it's kind of manipulative but I need him to know I'm serious

    • So which part is he supposed to know is serious and which part not? He's going to walk away as this becomes too complicated trying to understand what is and what isn't. But manipulative is fairly accurate.

What Girls Said 1

  • You did the right thing. It doesn't sound like he's ready to be in a committed relationship. You need to move on.

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    • but does it sound like he could be because of how he does feel about me?

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