My ex and I were together for almost 4 years when he left me for another girl and 7 months later and he already proposed to her?

So he broke up with me i believe for another girl, I come from a family that is old school so i could never sleep over go on vacations and basically gave us no space. So everything I did, I had to be sneaky and lie to be with him at his house. Mind you we were together for almost 4 years and out of the blue he broke up with me come to find out for a girl he met while working. Rewind now almost 8 months later I come to find out he already proposed to her so they are engaged. He is doing everything with her we talked about doing and he moved on so fast i don't understand? Was i not good enough i met him when he had no job no car no education and now with my help and believing in him... he has left me. I don't understand why. And he text me everyday like he still has feeling for me and loves me he says but how when he is with her. I ask him but he just says tells me to stop... Someone help me try to understand this fucked up situation


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's still reeling from your relationship and this is a rebound. A crazy, misguided, idiotic rebound. I dated a girl for 2 years and she fucked every guy she met for about 2 months after we broke up to make me sad. She got an STD, but i think your ex is just lost and this relationship he's starting with this new person will only end badly.

    • Like it was a ugly break up too i might add like he lied, I had to go fishing and find out everything by myself. Like I want to believe it won't work but everything i believed would happen has already...

    • Show All
    • I Just can't believe in 8 months he already moved on so fast... I feel so ashamed and want to tell her but I always believe everything always revels its self and KARMA lol He always text me when he is not with her which is almost always... since he works two jobs. i know its best for me to move on and heal to not talk to him but I just can't let him go. He was my first love bf lost my v card with him but what should I do next?

    • Devote time to yourself. Try not to respond to his messages and love yourself first before you jump into any sort of commitment with anyone else. And first loves are tough especially when intimicy and sex is involved. It's probably hard for him too. But he can't be half in half out. He's gotta be committed to you. And if he can't stay committed to someone he's "engaged" to, he's got a lot of learning and growing up to do.

      Seriously, devote your energy and focus and love to yourself. Make your feelings and happiness your number 1 priority.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah. i think MMerk is right. i also think that they just don't want to be alone and doesn't want to go through the stages of moving on, which we go through when we break up with our partners. they look for another person (rebound) so they won't feel alone and left behind. I don't know what urged them to propose to their new girl if they're not over his ex yet, but i think since he's already engaged, you should stop or cut any contact with this guy. Do not entertain him anymore. and also, i think the woman has the right to know what his bf is doing behind her back. you know how painful it is to be cheated, right?

    • exactly like i really want to contact her, like we both have each others number due to right at the time after we broke up he told me they weren't in a relationship so me and him were still talking and messing around... so she found my number called me to ask if anything was going on between us and I confessed that her suspicions were correct and then that weekend he dropped us both then chose her over me. So since then things got ugly between us because I NEVER stopped talking about us and i stopped talking to him in July and then in September he started text me back and i asked for my stuff back because he never gave me the chance to get any of my items even though she immediately moved in to his apartment he shares with his mom. He even opened a Facebook to talk to me that he never posted no photos of him self or her and told me he she is not going to find out about the Facebook because he won't tell her or let her know

    • U should cut all ur connections to him. Dont entertain him anymore. He had already chosen the other girl over u. Actually, u shouldn't even allow him to make u just one of his choices. He might be just using u as a side line now.

      About ur stuffs, if they r not that important like pillows, etc. u should just leave that to him. But if its important and u need to get it, u should have a friend that will take it from him, not u. U should avoid this asshole from now on. Even if he comes back to u, dont take him back. Look at what he's doing to his gf right now. Dont let that happen to u. The girl should know the truth about whats been happening behind her back. The guys cheating on her and ur helping him do it.

      I've made a wallpaper on my phone to remind me that i shouldn't go after the guy. And it says, "you're not that lucky and i'm not that desperate." I think u should find a quote that will remind u everyday that u shouldn't bother wasting ur time over this asshole.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If he broke up with you for the other girl, that means he was already attached to her before you guys broke up and his relationship with her is NOT a rebound. If that is the case, for whatever reasons he believes that he and she are a better fit than you and he. His texting you may be a (very poor) way of trying to let you down.

    On the other hand, if you misread things and he "fell for her" after you broke up, it could well be rebound. That could explain his confused texting to you.

    In either case, as long as he is with her, you are out. That may be the best thing for you with this guy. Try to move on. If he suddenly changes his mind back to you, you will have to think about what he puts you through and how immature he is being. You may well want to walk away in either case.


What Girls Said 1

  • The same thing happened to me. I dated my ex in high school for 3 1/2 years. He left me twice for two other girls after we went to different colleges-though we were only 45 minutes away. The second time he left, I dropped all contact. everything! 3 months later he gets engaged to her, meaning he only knew of her existance for about 6 months. I just dont get it. He stalked me on fb (he admitted it) and found out where I worked and brought her there with him to my job. He texted me every month for over a year and half trying to be friends he wanted to see me I said no everytime.

    The only conclusion that I can come up with is that the break up was so hard for him and that he isn't strong enough to go through another one. I think he found this other girl thought she was great and didn't want to be alone. He hasn't been single in 5 years. I think it scares him. Same with your guy it sounds like. They have no idea what its like to be independent.


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