I am ashamed and scared of asking for help from my friends to get over her?

One month after a break up, I tried to contact my ex again after cutting all contact and basically telling her we should move on, but she had blocked my number, the only way I had to contact her. I contacted her through another number, sending a long text message asking for a discussion. No response, I don't know why and I feel I shouldn't even try to know why. I'm feeling just as depressed as one month ago, maybe even more. I still had hope of getting back with her, apparently her silence tells a lot about what she wants. I feel dirty for bothering her once again, and using such a cheap and lowly technique to get to her. I still had hope, because the only things she said was "I don't think I'll have time to date anyone until I finish [her 6 months intensive training] and I don't want to lead you on, I am so sorry" and "I had fun spending time with you", "wish you the best of luck". I did nothing to fight back, I sent confused texts, trying to appear composed, wishing her the best too, while every inch of my body wanted to fight back. I would have so much preferred if she told me she did not like me, the way we ended things just filled me with desperate hope.

I am far from home, my best friends are on the other side of the world. I don't have many good friends here, I don't know them that well. I'm so scared to go to them and talk to them about my situation. Even with my best friend in my home country, I would have been scared to talk to him about it.

Would you help an acquaintance you don't know that well to deal with a break up? Would that drive you away from that person?

I'm depressed and desperate, I really need to talk in person with someone and spend time with friends... But something blocks me from doing that.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I went throught this too. My ex broke up with me and I was really depressed. I sent him desparste text messages and called him many times, but he would just ignore me and in the end, he told me I'll find a better guy than him and that it just can't work right now... I even told him to say,"say that you don't love me anymore" but he wouldn't. This just confused me even more because it gave me hope.
    But I realized it's better to move on even though it is painful. You can't make someone love you or convince them that you guys should be together

    As for the friend thing, I went to my best friend to talk about this, but he actually ignored my feelings and thought I was dramatic. This made me depressed even more. I was really depressed... I lost 10kg and crying. But you know what? People are nicer than you think! People that I wasn't real close noticed that I was different and asked what was wrong. People I wasn't expecting to help me were helping me and I had the support I needed. So it's ok to ask for help. Sometimes it's the people you least expect that will understand you and help you when you need someone.

    It's been 5 months since my ex broke up, I feel better now, but I still do think about him. Heart break is hard, but it'll make you stronger. And even though it's hard to take in right now, there will be someone better suited for you! I wish you the best !


What Guys Said 1

  • Go to a therapist or psychologist. It costs like 10 euros per visit.

    • Yes I've never done that in my life before, but I'm seriously considering it now.

    • Show All
    • Well that would be very rude to say it out loud xD. You should just do whatever feels good. But dont go in there with the mentality of avoiding eye contact

    • Oh okay, maybe that is a bit rude to say. I guess I'll just stare at the wall hoping he/she does not ask me to look into their eyes, and I'll see from there how comfortable I feel. Thanks.

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