Im Confused!!! Why Does she calls? Better yet why does she calls knowing im the reason we are not together?

I was in a three yea relationship. We got engaged, but were on and off the three years due to me. We lived under the same roof. Separated once for like a month. We finally broke up. But still managed to hangout from time to time. Its been like seven months now. I realize how much i miss her & often tell her much i love her & want her back in my life as a wife. She always brings up all the hurtful things I've said & done to her over the three years. It hurts me to hear them, and it even hurts me More to honestly feel her pain. we be fine at times laughing and joking but whenever i mention anything about us being serious it an argument. She always refer to us as " WE " or " US " which leads me to think maybe she's wanting us together again but again when i ask she makes me relive our past. Recently i stopped calling because my heart is in it wanting a wife in her. But with the constancy of fuss & bringing up the past whats the use. After a few days she calls & says " well i see if i dont call you want call me. I tell her no you know where me hearts @. Why do she continue to call & text? i explain to her that i plan on asking her to marry me recently & together we looked @ rings. but when we talk she brings up the pass. Im confused


Most Helpful Girl

  • Pretend to start being interested in another woman and see what happens. Don't call her, be polite but don't initiate contact. She keeps contact because she is definitely not over you and the relationship and maybe wants to reunite but wants you to do the right things - apologizing, telling her you have changed and be more distant - she wants you to show independence. That's attractive. Relationships fail because the attraction level drops. Obviously, she is still attracted to you but you have to show more masculinity and attractive traits like independence, happiness, and so on. Also - never fall for the 'let's just be friends' trap. Tell her you're not interested in being friends, you're interested in being her lover and unless she is interested in the same thing, you are moving on with your life. Tell her that and follow through. Stop contacting her, stop initiating anything with her. If she suggests something, assume that she wants you back and invite her over to your place (to watch a movie, to make dinner, whatever) and eventually - have sex.

    • She gets upset if someone else is mentioned. So there's a little jealous, but she says she could careless we aren't together. I dont call or text, but i am polite whenever she do decides to communicate. She haven't said anything about being friends, we just go with the flow. Sex is out the question im not interested in sex unless i have heart 100% totally.

    • If she is jealous when you mention another girl, she cares. Why don't I get jealous when all my exes kiss and make out with other girls in front of me? Because I don't care. She is jealous by hearing about a girl only. She cares.

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What Girls Said 2

  • she's not over the past, and she may never get over it. You'll have to apologize and explain to her that in order for you guys to take another shot at something, that she has to let go of the past pain, if not, you two will never be able to happily move forward. Make it an ultimatum.

    • Yea!!! the last argument we had she clearly stated that " im just not over it i should be but im not" with anger. But then afew days later she text for general conversation. And of coarse i dont be hard on her not repling etc. I really love her now. After the fact.

    • Well, all you can do is continue trying to prove that you know you made mistakes in the past with her and hurt her and hope that she can and will forgive you, because if she continues being like this, it starts to be come unfair to you. GIRLS NEVER FORGET ANYTHING and they tend to hold grudges, so good luck with that.

    • Thanks !!! very appreciative advice

  • She is probably indicating that you don't do what you have done in the past (which hurt her), and you have to tell her that hurt won't happen and that you want to work this out together with her and settle in life together.

    one should be able to look at the past and say, i want to move on, or apologize for all the confusion caused.
    just tell her your confused feelings, hopefully she will understand

    • I Always Do Express my feelings i really did her wrong i admit that. For no reason. She thinks it was another woman but it wasnt. So should i still proceed with proposing

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