Why does my ex trash talk me?

I'm a woman, age 25, my ex is a woman too, age 37. We were together for 2 months and she broke up with me because we fought much. It's been a month since the break up - neither has contacted the other in any way. But we have mutual friends... and I found out my ex trash-talks me in front of them, including another ex of mine (also a lesbian, this one is my age), who happens to be friends with that ex... Anyway, they both say I'm no good for a relationship and things like 'stupid/ unworthy', that they dumped me because of that and so on.

My question is... Why? Seriously, why? SHE broke up with me, they both did, actually, though I contemplated breaking up wtih both of them some time before they actually did it, but that's irrelevant now. During the relationship we shared intimate things, personal things, we were really close, she told me about her psychological problems (basically OCD - obsessive thoughts and panic attacks), I was there for her in some bad times she had (some fights with close people, a person she once loved - dying, 1 year since someone else close to her had died) and so on. We cared about each other and broke up without fighting.

Why would she and the other ex talk trash about me after a month of no contact? (I always end any contact with exes, the last one knew I would do it, it hasn't surprised her, so why would she be angry enough to trash talk me? Or is it not anger?) What makes them even think of me? Haven't they moved on? What's all that about, where is this coming from?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ugh, you need a new crowd.

    Why is she trash talking you? Well, either she's very immature or maybe she has some valid points. You said that two exes got together and griped about perceived flaws? That isn't terribly uncommon, although it can certainly be hurtful.

    In my experience, large groups of lesbian friends tend to be rather incestuous, in that they all date one another and create drama, conflict, and animosity. Branch out.

    • There is one lesbian bar in my city, I can't just get another crowd unless I stop going there which means... I won't see lesbians unless I randomly see one or two in my daily life. So changing the crowd is not that easy, it means no lesbians.
      I have no idea why would she trash talk me, I find it hard to believe, actually. She is not like that but obviously I don't know her... We were very kind to each other, she had way more flaws than me and she knew it perfectly, because she is realistic. She has serious problems while I'm just a normal person.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Better question why care? If it were me I wouldn't.

  • Bitterness happens.

    • Obviously. But I'm more interested in the reasons behind it. Trying to make sense of the whole thing here...

    • Emotions do not require reasoning.

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