Due to some arguments between me and her, we split up... She's the type that can't live without a guy. I see her not being online for a few hours and then I panic, because I keep worrying about her going to the next, because I still have hope to get her back, EVEN THOUGH that's NOT healthy... I know what I should do, but I just can't seem to let go. She established communication with me yesterday, and went from hot to cold, and we haven't spoken again. I know I should get over her but how? P. S She's my first love. :( (also, people see her as a slut, since she slept with a few guys, I wanted to show her respect by telling her we should wait if something like this should ever happen..)
Most Helpful Guy
You're panicking because you don't like feeling crappy. But breakups are supposed to feel crappy.
But your feelings aren't facts. It might feel like your world is ending, but it's not.
Your feelings suck, but that's not a reason to ignore reason. Feeling desperate doesn't mean you have to ACT desperate.
If you're going through hell, just keep going.
Just because you've broken up it doesn't mean you'll stop loving her. And just because she's going to be with other guys doesn't mean you're going to stop wanting to be with her.
Because attraction isn't a choice. How you feel isn't a choice.
It just is the way it is.
But how you act, and the choices you make, ARE a choice. So don't panic, and don't become a fool. Don't chase her down out of desperation, because that will lead you to regret and it will erode your self esteem.
Instead you need to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. You need to stop. And sit still. And let yourself feel crappy.
Because how you feel now will pass. If you act out now you'll be making all the wrong choices, doing all the wrong things, and you'll make everything worse.
Instead you need to stop, sit, and breath.
Hang out with some buddies and let them reassure you it's going to be okay. Reconnect with your family. Do something nice for a neighbour.
Use that energy and work out at the gym. Go for a run. Go wander the mall shopping. Be active.
Naturally your body will equalize, your feelings will settle down, and peace will return to your head and heart.
And then, from a place of quiet and calm, you can reassure yourself that it's going to be fine.
Life goes on. Women come and go, but your relationship with yourself is for ever. Treat yourself with respect, and treat her with respect.
Let her go because it's the RIGHT thing to do. For you and for her.
I hope this helps,
(My Blog: https://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/ )1