(Ex) boyfriends mother died on the same day that I broke up with him? What is my place?

We have been together for 3 years but for the last few weeks, I just haven't been confident in our relationship lasting. Yesterday I finally told him that I wanted to end it. He acted a little strange when I told him, he sort of stepped back like he was scared of me. It was emotional for both of us but we didn't hug or kiss or anything.

After that I drove home and I was pretty upset so I just went to bed. When I woke up, I went on Facebook for a while and his brother had made a status about how much he loved her (his mother) and that she was taken too soon. I looked at the time of the status and it was before I broke up with him. I felt even worse than I already did so I tried to call him and he kept rejecting the calls. I drove over to his place and i told him I knew what happened and I tried to hug him but he said "please don't touch me". that was pretty much it. He just cut the conversation short and shut the door in my face. By the time I got to my car there was a text that said: "you wanted to end it. You did. My mother dying doesn't change that."

I don't know what to do. He helped me through the loss of someone I loved. I don't know if I would have gotten through it without him. I just want to hold him. What is my place here? I mean, do I act like his girlfriend, a friend? How do I help him? I left him alone all night, do I call him again?
Help please.


Most Helpful Guy

  • try to be the best friend you can be. tell him that he helped you and now you want to help him

    • Should I go and see him again or just call him, or text him?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow... This is really, fucking tough. Ummm... What kind of person is he, because when I say I want to be left alone, I mean stay away. But, some people say that and what they need is to be held tightly and reassured that you will always be there for them as support- regardless of your status.

    • Honestly, I think he wants me to be there, but I don't want to give him the wrong idea or hurt him anymore.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You two were together for three years, which is a pretty long time for a non-marriage relationship to last. Give it some time. Like, at least a month. That will give enough time to determine that you aren't there out of pity. After that time, if you are still having second thoughts about the breakup, I advise you to talk to him.

  • better leave him alone for a few weeks since he has lost his mother, in order to calm down


What Girls Said 2

  • Don't get back with him for that reason. You will both know that it would be just out of sympathy, and it anything it'd make things much worse and prolong an unwanted relationship.
    Be there for him if he wants you to be. Make sure his friends are aware of the situation so they can support him, too.

    • Yeah, I know, it would be a bad idea. He's not really close with his family and he doesn't really have any close friends.

    • Show All
    • I doubt it, but I haven't really spoken to him so I can't be sure

    • Hmm, maybe you should leave him alone for a while. It may be too painful to see you for a while.

  • Oh wow thats... unlucky­čś│


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