Why would an ex still be in contact?

Give you the short...
Long term very serious relationship. Was fantastic. We were in college and both knew we would get married. She ended it and regretted it. A year of on and off followed.
She started talking to a new guy 2 weeks after me, then started dating him two weeks after.
Tried to get her back for a couple months.
She's been dating him for 5-6 months now.
She has texted with me the entire time and initiates conversations often as well.
Why is she still talking with me? And two, should I even be talking with her?
Oh... I still love her and want her back...
And she claims she just wants to be friends...


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's talking with you because there's a part of her that still wants to be with you and hopes that someday you'll be able to get back together. I think you should stop talking to her as much, just to respect the other guy. Even though it's not what you want, it would still be the best choice because it'll give her time to think about what she really wants and it'll give her a taste of not having you so that she can see what it's like to not be able to talk to you at all. Based on her actions, I'm sure she would still try to talk to you and would come back after she realizes that she's still stuck on you.

    • Thank you a lot for the response. Wish there was a private message thing on here so I could talk to you more. I kind of feel like that too. We talk a little bit everyday, and she has this bf. The friend thing seems silly doesn't it? Who wants ex baggage as a friend when your dating someone?
      Do you think I should stop talking with her totally? I don't want to be mean, but if it's what best...

    • Show All
    • My username is runcupcakerun. Yeah, I get what you mean. Wish her the best, even though it probably hurts like hell. After she and the other guy break up (I'm sure they will, because she's still talking to someone she has a history with... it's just a matter of time), she'll remember that you were really selfless by looking out for her before yourself and respectful by backing off when she had someone new. She has to know that it's not easy for you at all, and it's kind of a jerk move for her to keep talking to you and essentially leading you on. I'm not trying to attack her or anything, but it is kind of selfish for her to keep talking to you and having a new boyfriend. she can't have her cake and eat it too.

    • You know I would say something... But I poured my heart out so many times in the beginning... I don't think I could take anything more. Plus I flip flopped like 5 times trying to do that before. I think I'm just going to try to not respond, and then I would tell her if she asks and then continue
      Think she might realize what she's missing if I do that?

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What Girls Said 2

  • It gives her the power of knowing she still has you when she wants you.. you need to stop speakin to her.. fall of the face of the earth and you will sure find out what she truly wants because she will miss you and not feel in control anymore and start to panic.. at the mo she has the best of both worlds and while you actively keep talking to her she will carry this whole pathetc game on.. you need to ignore her for a month

    • Thanka for the opinion. Yeah it does seem that way. I just feel bad ignoring someone, but it did oeive effective when we first broke up, but she wasn't dating someone then. If she asks why what's the best thing to say? I can't decide if telling her how I feel about her would be best or showing my cards to early?
      And think it might make her realize she should be with me? We really did have a phenomenal, respectful, and happy relationship until a year ago. Marriage was around the corner. And despite this new bf she obviously wants to stay in contact.

    • im going through the same thing as you 7 years we was together withina wk he got a new girl.. i was heartbroken and 9 wks on i have blocked him and ignore him on email.. he still with her tries to chat to me sayin he wants to be friends etc.. but now im in no contact he has started to panic and tries to rub my face in his relationship more but doesn't realise I have deleted him off everything.. i now in a waiting game I just stopped the contact a wk ago and I think you should do the same just do not reply , it s damn hard man but for your own sanity you have too.. If is a sorta test you need to give her time to miss you aslong as she talks to you she still has you in her life even though she with this other guy she obv still has you on her mind and your a sorta medicine for her to carry on while your in contact she havin her cake and eating it !!! STOP the contact as from now.. make changes to your life and watch the drama unfold if she truly want you let her miss you !

    • Thanks I will take that advice and just be honest with her. I always have been and don't want to stop now. I just hope she comes around soon. Wish I had a good idea if she would.

  • My ex did this too (genders obviously switched). I've learned that there is something about you that they miss that the othr person doesn't have.
    Dont talk to her if she's guy. t otherwith tha


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