We are on a break, and my girlfriend whats to go meet other men and to figure out if her happiness lies with me or out there.. she wants to explore?

We were going through a rough patch in our relationship, and so i very calmly said lets take some time off each other recalibrate and figure out whats wrong. The next day i was miserable, as i really love her and it was difficult being away from her, and as luck would have it she met some random stranger the next day and exchanged numbers, they have met a total of two times, but i think chat constantly. I asked her about what she wants to do. She says she loves me, and i am like a family to her, and she is not abandoning me, but she needs to figure her self out, figure why what where it all went wrong. She wants to go out and see what makes her happy, she wants to go explore before she decide, whats to be done about us. but constantly she keeps saying she loves me... we have kept a 15 day time period. She keeps talking to him, and i am miserable. i want her back, she says she needs time to decide the next course of action, what should i do. Please please help.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I find this rather "Fast" that she just so happened to meet 'Some random stranger' just when you both took this Break. I wouldn't be a bit surprise if perhaps she Might have had him on the sidelines while you both were going through this 'Rough patch' in your relationship... Just something to throw your way, food for thought...
    Now that she has you on this back burner 'Break,' she is spending time with this Joe from Idaho and keeping you at arm's length so she can have her cake and eat it too for-----15 day period. This is now what I call Enabling her to get away with this arrogant act, making you look like a fool with egg all over your face and is giving her a naughty notion if things go south with him, she can always fly back into your waiting arms to your nestle nest once more.
    She is keeping you in harm's way by having you ride her pity wagon with her song and dance and new romance, which you can well imagine is going on behind closed doors. She knows she has it made by telling you she needs to 'Figure herself out,' but being on my own end, I already have this little finch 'Figured out' and she is playing with your head and your heart.
    Do some serious soul searching while she is free to fly the coup out there. Even if she would drop this schmo like a hot potato tomorrow, you could never trust her that she might not just decide to grow wings and fly south once more.
    The ball is in your court, you need to Figure out for yourself if you want to continue to dribble with her dabbling or just throw in the towel and tell her no more playing ball games.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Wow, thats put a whole lot in perspective, Thank you so much for your advise.

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    • becca123 dont mind if i do

    • I completely agree with this and I hope you listen to her lol

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What Girls Said 7

  • you were the one who called for the break, so that is a risk that you take. my advice to you would be to stop contacting her for a while. if you keep talking to her she will never get a chance to miss you, and you will always be in the background like an option. don't talk to this girl or ask her about this guy, let her come back to you

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    • "yoU were the one who called for the BREAK, so this is a risk that you TAKE."
      Hip hop fan huh?:p:p:p:p:p

    • Thank you so much for your advise. 4 days passed and i am feeling much better... followed your advise

  • Honestly, and I'm not trying to be hurt you, but EVERYONE that I have seen go through this always just ends up keeping the other person on the backburner. It's almost like "I'm gonna look around and if I can't get what I want, I'll just go back to what I had." And even if the couple does end up getting back together after the "break" it almost NEVER works out because there will always be that "well she did this and that while you were on 'break" and it just causes problems in the relationship. She might not know exactly what she wants, and that's understandable, but she shouldn't drag you down emotionally with her.

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    • Thank you for your advise, much appreciate. Hope whatever happens next happens for good... i am going wait for her final decision but at the same time i will be planning an exit route.

  • What's with all the long ass comments, lol? This shouldn't be inconclusive or debatable... ditch the bitch

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  • She's keeping you around until she decides what she wants.
    How long have you two been together?
    I think you need to go see and meet other girls too and decide if she really is what you want too. You might just be emotionally attached to her and dependent on her. I know you don't want to hear this but it might not be love after all. Learn to stand on your own two feet without a girl and then go out and see what else is out there. You might find that you are perfectly well without her in your life. And that's when she'll come begging for you to come back. And at least then you can make a sound decision on what you really want.
    Don't be dependent on anyone.

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    • We've been together for two years.. but i think you are right, i am emotionally attached to her, and the very fact that she might slip away is giving me nightmares, but thank you

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    • yes resonate my emotions, yes I've been through similar phases... when two people are in love, there is no room for games, and upmanship, it should be simple, and happy... if you are not.. . then find an exit route.. the brain and heart plays tricks on you.. it make u believe what u want to believe, where the reality might be something totally different. Thank you for sharing your story too, hope we all find peace and happiness where ever that may lie, sans drama, pain hurt and games

    • Thanks! I really hope the same for all of us! Just be strong, keep busy and remind yourself you deserve way better :)

  • You have received great advice. Let me break it down a little more.

    Her Majesty had an opportunity with a new guy. She already had one foot out the door and cannot figure out how to sever with you... Besides Mr New Guy may not work out. She doesn't want to hurt you, she really doesn't, but she is done for the most part. At the end of 15 days, she will still not know what she wants and will tearfully let you go rather than hurt you anymore.

    I say tell her she can have alllllll the space she wants. Forever.

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    • Thank you so much for your advise... your words do give me the courage, but i'll wait, and see where the story ends or restarts

  • I think you should dump her and move on, it seems like you're a second choice for her.

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    • Thanks for your advise, we've been together for more than 3 years... what does it mean to go out and explore?

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    • I wouldn't, she'll do the same again.

    • Thanks for your frank opinion. God bless

  • LoooL dude just forget her..

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    • hahaha, thanks just wish it was as easy, but thanks. your words does give one strength

What Guys Said 4

  • Dump her. She just wants a get out of jail free card to sleep with another guy while being too cowardly to break it off with you. I can almost guarantee that if you told her you were seeing someone else as well, the fact that you're "on a break" would not make a difference in her eyes.

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  • My friend, I hate to tell you this, but you've already lost her.

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    • I guess i have!!!

    • Tell her you also need some time to 'Figure yourself out' and you think you should explore before you decide too. Sure, she'll lose her mind and be a little mad at you, but you'll be well within your rights. If she needs this, then maybe you do too. This will scare the shit out of her, and she'll think her plan backfired. As a result, she will either panic and dump you first (beating you to the punch because u dumping her will hurt more) or she'll still panic but run back into your arms. Either way, you shook things up in her little master plan and showed her you're not gonna stand for that kind of behavior. You stood up for yourself. And that's what a man has to do.

  • Sorry dude, it's time for you to move on. Do not put up with this any more.

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    • Sad but may be true. Thank you for your advise

  • She is a bluff master. That guy was much before around her than you think. But yeah... rough patch has added fuel to the fire.
    For many men... especially during break ups , as you well know... it provides a golden opportunity to attract women's attention and make a way for next 'possible' boyfriend.
    I think.. you should leave her despite of all the love and emotions. This relationship will make no sense. Believe me bro.
    Remember... women are like monkeys...
    When monkey's swing from branch to branch they won't let go until they have a hold of the next branch. Women won't let go of a guy until she has a hold on another..

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    • hahah your comparison is funny... thank you very much for your advise

    • Follow it bruh!

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