Regretting a breakup? (Fair warning, long story!)?

I was with my boyfriend for about 6 months and then I broke up with him because he was becoming too clingy/ co dependent for me. We were separated for a month and I couldn't get him off my mind and I decided to try to get back together with him. For about 8 months, we had a fantastic relationship. He was my best friend. He did absolutely everything in the world to make me happy. I've had very abusive relationships in the past, and I've never been treated so well in my life.
We come from very different backgrounds. I'm a country girl, and he's a city guy. He currently lives in his mother's pool house which is tiny and cramped. He has a son. He really had no true goals of where he wants to be in his life, other than he wants to get married. This was not an attractive trait for me. I do not have my life on track either, due to my severe anxiety and panic attacks which hold me back. Although, I DO have dreams and goals of how to improve my life and I'm currently doing all I can to make those changes.
I just in the last couple months seem to have noticed the same things I did the first time we broke up. His constant need to be reassured that yes I loved him, yes I wanted to see him, etc. He is absolutely the sweetest most selfless person I've ever met. We just didn't seem to click anymore. I loved him, and I still do. I just don't know how to get over the fact that I hurt him again. I feel horrible. As soon as I broke up with him, last night, I felt sick. I felt instant regret but I couldn't go back because, maybe next week I'd want to break up, and that's not fair to his emotions. I was so back and forth on the idea of us breaking up that I made myself sick over the last few weeks.
last night when I ended it, he gave me my birthday present because my birthday is in a few days. It was the most perfect necklace that I would have picked out for myself. It broke my heart cuz he knows me so well. I just don't know what to do. I feel awful. I never him to get hurt

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well just move on now; each choice has a consequence. Like you said yourself, you dont know if you will break up with him again. Just don't give a guy a broken heart twice. guys are humans too you know? They know how broken hearts are like

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