The Break Up from Hell with a girl I want back. What should I do?

My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. We were together for 4 months while we were away in an internship program. I fell in love with her.. however, there were trust issues from my end caused by different forms of communication. We constantly misinterpreted each others stuff and i already have issues dealing with emotions.

So one night, she decides to end it after I send her a full text saying that she’s gonna break up with me. She said that she couldn’t trust that i’d get better and she couldn’t deal with this anymore. I broke down and cried and begged…and she stormed out saying “it’s over, deal with it”. I texted her later on that night, apologizing for losing my cool and saying that I agreed with her.

That night I found this sight and began my 30 days and “healing process”.
2 weeks later, I texted her “hey”. no response, and i had to start my process again.

Keep in mind that this whole time, I was still friends with her on Facebook, tumblr, Skype and linkdin. 3 weeks later, she unfollows me on tumblr and unfriends me on Facebook

2 weeks later, I messaged her on Facebook talking about Dr. Who, a show I started watching because of her. I said “Just finished the first series of Dr. Who. Loved it :) How are you doing?” A day later, she says “You need to stop communicating with me. I don’t want to hear from you anymore. I unfriended you and if you keep this up, I will block you”. I apologized and said “block me if you want” and boom, she did.

If I know this girl, this definetly goes with the article of “indifference vs hatred”.

Some friends have even told me that before she unfriended me, she was looking at my Facebook a lot.

However, I’m officially in constant pain from this whole ordeal. I want her back and am following the steps, but the healing process is taking long and I’m losing focus on school and work. While I am working on my issues, the pain is so sooo bad. I am willing to wait and grow for myself. What should I do? Any Advice?

Updates:
So a little bit of an update...
I've gotten really depressed. Tackling my own issues while healing was something that I thought was a lot easier than what I had in mind. During this time I managed to fail most of my courses, gain weight, focused on dating apps and going back to ex gfs, isolating myself and just feeling miserable everyday. I've started getting help, but i'd be lying if i felt 100% optimistic. any help? any advice? I feel so alone it scares me. and of course, i still miss her :/
I figured I should update my situation.. Things got worse before things began to get better. I'm going to therapy, recovering from a disastrous start to my senior year (was almost kicked out of Drexel), ran away from home/life twice (once on Christmas eve), severed friendships, gained weight, and practically hung out in hell for a bit.

Things have slowly gotten better... new quarter, talked to advisors, friends and teachers... still a long road but i'm getting there :/

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What Girls Said 1

  • Work on the issues that you have admitted to. You gave her the choice to block you so she did because you kind of challenged her to do so... I'm not sure about getting her back... But take what she said you need to work on and take it as lesson learned..

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    • I know that I shouldn't of told her, but I wasn't sure what to do. All i did was "if you're going to block me, block me". All the actions she's done herself. I want to focus on myself, but I do want her to be okay. We never HATED each other, we were just hurt by each others actions…I have hope for something in the future, but i'm climbing up the steps to heal.

    • I know hun but what Im saying is you challenged her to block you by saying if your going to block me, block me... it's like a reverse physiology thing.. she'll be ok, I'm sure.. Being hurt by ones actions causes us to lash out and say hurtful things when we're angry.. If you need advice further feel free to message me. Chin up buttercup things will get better!!!

What Guys Said 1

  • Stop talking to her. She doesn't want u and u have to accept it. U can continue working on your issues but leave her out if it. It was only four months after all. That's hardly anything. You're coming on too strong to her. u have to pretend she never existed and move on. I kno it's easier said than done. My ex of almost two years left me for another guy 3 months ago. I deal with it one day at a time. Just keeping myself busy because I'm tired of being depressed about it. You should be your main source of happiness. Not someone else.

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    • I am dealing with it one day at a time. The thing is, we had a situation that because of school and friends, we saw each other everyday and met in another city doing an internship. Now, because of school and we're practically in the same major, its hard not to come across her.

      People are telling me to "leave her out" when she is all over the place. I work with her friends and its all combined. She'll be in my life at some point and thats why this is hard.

      I know I need to be my main source of happiness and that this will pass. But I want (not need) her back and it eats my head not doing anything about it.

      I want to hear some perspective from both genders. I'm giving myself two months before another word is said.

      I am so sorry about your ex. I can't imagine what a 2 year relationship break up would involve if this is the pain of a 4 month one for me.

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