"I really miss you" email from ex?

Okay so here's the short story. This girl and I dated up until August of 2013 when she left me. Things were going great and then boom she ended it, most likely for her ex from high school who sent her and "I love you so much" email a week earlier.
She moved to where he lives and yada yada you get the picture.

So the whole thing destroyed me and took me down to an absolute low that I finally pulled myself out of. I got into powerlifting and bodybuilding and working my rear off for my nursing degree and practiced no contact. She messaged me in April of this year and I told her I don't want to talk and then she hit me up on my birthday which I said thanks to and that was it. Now today she hits me up with "I really miss you :( I hope you are doing well"

My problem is I thought I was over her, but instead of being mean and shutting her down like I wish I could I find myself still deeply caring for her. I don't really know what to do or how to respond. What makes this worse is there was a shooting at my university today and that with this email on top is just not putting me in a place where I can deal with the emotions. What do you all think of this and how should I deal with it?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I hate to say it, but it sounds like things just didn't work out with her ex from high school so she's crawling back to you. Seems to me the grass wasn't as green on the other side like she thought it would be, so she's looking for the comfort and stability of a relationship that you'd provided for her before she strayed. If it were me, I'd cease contact with her - even if you deeply care for her - because it's likely that she'll do you wrong again when she comes across another guy that piques her interest. As far as the shooting is concerned, I'm really sorry that it happened and I have your university as a whole in my thoughts. I can't imagine how terrifying that would be, but you all are very brave for what you've overcome.

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    • Thank you first of all for the support and thoughts of my university. The whole city has been rocked but we'll pull through.
      The ceasing contact is what I've been told now by 5 different people and as hard as it is to do, I think I probably will. I know I could never trust her and she broke me twice already. A 3rd time would probably kill me. It's just so damn hard because every time I feel finally over it she hits me with an email and the pain returns. Thank you for the advice and support :)

    • Believe me when I say I understand how hard it is... I've been in a very similar situation with my first boyfriend from years ago. I thought we would be together forever and that he was the love of my life. It's true you never forget, but you do learn how to live without them and to move on and find love elsewhere. I wish the best for you!
      I've seen a lot of documentation about how strong of a community your university is in light of the tragedy. I hope for a swift recovery for those that were injured, both physically and emotionally.

    • Thank you so much :) I did actually contact her simply because I'm making sure she's alright but I'm being very careful this time. If things turn out great then awesome, if not, well I've already got more than a year under my belt without her and I'll just go back to what I'm used too now.

      Yeah FSU has such a strong community and everyone feels like family at this university and city so everyone really supports everyone through events like this. I'm sure everyone will pull through, both physically and mentally injured :)

  • Did her and her ex not work out? You may be a back up plan. You can either reply and try to be friends, which is close to impossible. Or you can just let it go and ignore her. Who knows what she wants, but make sure she isn't coming back to you just because she's alone.

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    • I actually wrote her back simply because I'm very curious as too her well being. And she never even moved there after all. It failed in a month. She wrote how she misses everything, our friendship, and how she made a terrible mistake, yada yada. I kept replying but I'm not dropping my defenses. I just want too see how this goes. And I'm not lying when I say I do still feel for her but I'm not going to allow myself to be pulled into anything.

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