POLL - Have you ever broken someone's heart?

If so, how do you feel about it and what do you think of that person?

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Maybe
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
UPDATE - All the maybes from girls are yeses.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, women have been heart broken because I rejected or dumped them, however it wasn't intentional and it was unavoidable. In fact my leaving them was heartbreaking for me, too, because they were good people. It's just we weren't a match.

    Myself, I've never felt any woman broke my heart. Ever. This is not to say I haven't been heartbroken! Not so by any means! It's just they rejected me or they dumped me, and for the same reasons I've done it to other women. They didn't mean to hurt me intentionally, but what else could they do?

    This is why I often dislike the phrase "He/She broke my heart." There's a subtle implication that it's done intentionally. In most cases, it isn't intentional. In many cases, the rejecter/dumper's heart is aching, too. Only the cruel LIKE rejecting people or dumping people, and most people I've encountered aren't particularly cruel.

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    • Yeah I totally agree, it's VERY rare when only one person experiences heartbreak as a result of a severed relationship.

      I want to draw on your experience if I might. Just out of curiosity, is there one position (either the one who initiates the breakup, or the one who is more so "broken up with") that leads to more pain for you? A lot of people might assume that being the one who is dumped is infinitely more difficult, but I'm not so sure that's always true.

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    • ... when your rejecting someone, your will and or desire is ultimately being fulfilled (you want to end the relationship, or you do not want to go out with this person). Now, I don't know of any study about the differences between how men and women take rejection, but I'll wager my right arm that there probably are general differences between the sexes. I'll also wager that there is somebody out there right now who is reading this (and somehow managed to stay awake) who is thinking that the differences are the result of patriarchy, feminism, societal expectations, Judd Apatow movies, rom coms, or something like that (take your pick). I'm not so quick to say the differences are the result of societal norms. Don't get me wrong, they may well be. However, I would very much entertain the idea that the differences might very well be the result of innate differences in the way men and women process things.

    • Boy, you haven't learned, have you, @DodgersGM? If you ask me a question, I will answer it.

      Of course, if you were trying to cure insomnia, then well played, my good man!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 57

  • noooooo, I cushion them up with tiny little pillows of memory foam all around, so that in case they fall, they don't break, and they can go find someone else to be happy with :]]]]

    Hmmm... well, I think usually when that happens, people don't actually do it cause they want to, it just usually happens.. I really doubt it's something someone aims for.. like some people here are saying.. it's not their "thing" or it's not something they will do... That's weird to me, cause it's not something you choose to do... for the most part, "normal" people don't choose to do that I would think.. anyway!! If I have, it's not cause I wanted to, nor do I know about it... I would feel devastated.. that's just awful.

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  • I used to have extreme anxiety when it came to relationships. I would still really like people and want to date them, so I would flirt, but then second I got asked on a date or things became too serious, I would actually get panic attacks and become really anxious around that person. No idea why, I can't think of a reason for me to have felt that way. It went away eventually, but I really hurt some guys who I actually really did like.
    There's this one guy who I felt like is "the one that got away". I was crazy about him and was constantly flirting with him. I led him on so much and I feel terrible about it, and he was the first guy that I ever went on a date with. I had to force myself to go because of how much anxiety it gave me, but I really wanted to make it work. I ended up just feeling way too anxious about it. I even had an anxiety attack before our second date and I had to cancel. I still feel like shit about it, I liked him so much, and I still do really like him, but he pretty much hates me now. He thinks I led him on just to hurt him on purpose, when really I just used to get really bad anxiety.

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  • I had my heart broken 3 times. It became progressively easier to cope. The first one took 4 years, the second one about 1 year, and the last one took just 2 to 3 months. But the last one was the ugliest. However, it was right after that (within a matter of days) that I met my current BF. My BF healed me completely by entering my life. So much so, that I even got the guts to speak to my ex and tell him I don't regret thinking I was in love with him. My BF has a unique set of views of the world - very positive, accommodates everybody into his life, and I don't think he ever hates anyone at all. God is watching from above, and He knew I deserved a man like my BF in my life.

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  • Yeah well... One guy (lets call him J) said that i broke his heart and that i destoyed his life, and i probably did haha.
    (yeah i know this sounds cold, but he totally deserved it)
    He kinda broke my heart first...

    About J: i was online dating him

    Short story: he cheated on me, he told me so many lies that i dont even know the truth anymore, then he tried to blackmail me, he also threathened me.
    What i did then? Well at first i was stressed and afraid, but yeah, i also knew the girl he was cheating on. So one day she talked to me, wondering if i talked to J, because something seemed off about him. I told her that he was claiming to be someone else (which he was), so after that we talked for a pretty long time. I found out even more stuff he lied about. I told her i also had been dating him. She got a bit upset, but wasn't really surprised that he cheated on her. So she asked me for some info so that she could break up with him. I gave her that, she broke up with him. He messaged me saying that he hates me, and how i broke his heart and ruined his life.

    So yeah... He kinda deserved it.
    In case you want to know, i never replied, also haven't heard from him ever since.

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    • Totally deserved it. You didn't need to reply... but do you seriously think you destroyed his life?

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    • Haha, yeah Ange, you guys never liked him, because all i told you about was the bad things.

    • I do agree!!! He's an ass XP

  • No, I don't think I ever have. Throughout my life, it's typically been other people hurting me. I am usually more invested in my relationships than the other person so, that just leads to myself getting hurt. But, I would never want to cause anyone else heartbreak anyway so, that's fine with me.

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  • Yes. And I'm not happy about it. I feel really, really bad.

    2 of those guys are my exes. I'm not saying "they deserved it", but what more could I do? They cheated on me. I forgave them both. They then did it again. I had to talk to them and tell them no. They both cried. I feel really bad cuz they both still want me back. But I cannot, especially after I gave them a chance and they both ruined the second chance after I forgave them for cheating.
    Not sure if that is what you mean by breaking someone's heart, but yea, I did.

    If you mean by rejecting them? Yes. I had a few stalkers and one of them just would not get it. He literally followed me home and was waiting OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. He was a classmate. I told him how fucking creeped out and bothered I was. But he still kept asking me out.

    Yes, I feel bad about them. I don't reject guys or whatever and go all happy about it. I always feel really really bad for them, and it hurts me too.

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  • Yeah I have. I don't think it really affected me that bad cause the first guy was a jerk and very clingy and possessive/controlling so I just left without an explanation. I obviously broke his heart cause he was very obsessed with me. He would hack into my emails and call me every second and would freak out if I didn't answer my phone calls or texts even if I was gone for 5 minutes. He would always call my friends and family and talk to them and try to get answers from them to see what I was doing. He would make fake usernames to see if I was cheating and then hacked into my account and talked to all my guy friends acting like an easy girl which I am not to see if I was cheating. It got annoying and suffocating so I just deleted his number and blocked him on all social medias etc. (we were in a long distance relationship) and I moved so he didn't know my address anymore. I even thought about getting a restraining order on him for being so annoying but I didn't.

    Other guy I broke his heart by accident cause he was 15 and I was 18 and he was in love with me but I just couldn't be with him cause I had attachment issues and I was scared to be in relationship plus with him being 15 and me being 18 probably would have started a lot of drama in school and I didn't want that so I decided to be his close friend. Things didn't really go good between me and him and I feel bad cause I know he was young but he has a new girlfriend now and he seems happy. He deleted me off FB. Lol. I don't know if I broke other hearts but I would never want to breaks someone's heart on purpose.

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    • The first guy was really ****ing clingy! Did you break up with him or just block him?

      The second guy was just cruel on your part. Wow!

    • I just blocked him cause if I just broke up with him he'd probably still stalk me. He was crazyy.

    • Wow that's quite cruel too.

  • Quite a few. In return, I have had my own chewed up into itty bitty bite sized pieces and handed to me on a paper plate.

    Aaron Neville had a song back in the 90's, I think, called Everybody Plays the Fool. It talks about how one time you are breaking someone's heart and next time it is your turn.

    "Next time around someone cries for you.". I find this to he so true.

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  • ... yes. unintentionally. its happened a few times. that's why i currently dont want anyone to get close to me. i feel dangerous.

    i had no choice.

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    • believe me you are very dangerous

  • Yes, I have.

    One guy. I never met him. He only knew me online. He wanted to marry me. Said that he loved me. He didn't know anything about me. Then our ideologies were different. He was trying to make me believe in god, etc.

    2nd. He went to my house in the village, acting like a fertilizer seller and counted the number of gates and dogs, etc.

    3rd. Only talked to him for like 10 days, and he wanted to marry me. Threatened me saying that his family is full of politicians and that he has got the power to do anything. He came to know new things about me, and I don't know how.

    I don't regret breaking their hearts.

    Then there were two women. Really nice and wonderful women. Kind, very sweet, pleasant, and helpful. Both confessed to me. I broke their hearts, because I had someone that I liked then (my present boyfriend). I feel horribly guilty about breaking their hearts. They were really sweet and good to me. I still remember it every now and then and feel this huge guilt for breaking their hearts.

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  • Yes, plenty of times. I'm friendly with guys, in fact the majority of my guy m friends are guys, and I treat then all the same like I would with my female friends. But sometimes they take my nice and friendly attitude the wrong way. I always assume a guy doesn't like me unless they're straightforward about it and if they confess and can't take a rejection, then i cut them off completely.

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    • How do you feel when you do that? Don't you think its a bit harsh?

    • Oh wow I just realized my sentences were incoherent, comes from typing too early in the morning...

      Yes, I do think it's harsh because I'm the kind of person who's nice and respectful to everyone, even janitors, unless there's a reason not to. So I do feel guilty when I tell a guy that I don't like him because it jeopardizes our friendship, but I've learned that guys can be too simple, so being forward is the only way some of them will understand. Why continue feeling uncomfortable around him for his sake just because he likes me? Most guys can take a rejection and we continue being good friends. But a few get very very angry or upset. Why should I surround myself with that negativity? Might as well cut him off, I don't need a friend like that.

  • Yes, I have.
    How do I feel about it?: 2% shitty and 98% like his feelings aren't my problem anymore.

    How do I feel about that person?: Pretty apathetic.

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    • How do you cut off all feelings when you know you've ****ed someone over and made them wanna cry?

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    • How do you get over it, i wonder

  • No, I don't think so.

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  • yes but not intentionally

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  • No. Not that I know of. I usually was the one getting dumped 😢

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  • No I haven't and I've never had my heart broken. I've been sad over breakups but none of those were truly love

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  • No, not that I know of...

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  • Most likely. Probably. Oh well.

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    • How do you feel about it and what do you think of that person?

    • The lasted most recent person? Um. I don't know, I liked him for a short period and pushed him away. Did I/Do I feel anything about it? No not really.

  • no lol, i have NOT!

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    • Do not listen to her lies, she has broken too many hearts to count! Legend has it she can break your heart just by looking at you or whispering your name...

    • That legend is true, I can testify :P

  • Yes I have not something Im proud of... Honestly I'd rather hurt than make someone else hurt... I think I might've broke 2

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    • That's sweet. Care to elaborate (a little)?

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    • What would you like me to elebarate on.. .
      @rogue2 well thank you... Yes heart break does suck but still rather go through it than to hurt someone else... I felt terribly when I did It.

    • What you felt at the time, what you think of them now. Did they make you feel insulted... I don't know... anything

  • Yes, without even knowing the person.

    My friend went to India to visit some cousins. They were all sitting together, scrolling through her FB pictures when they arrived at a picture of me. One of the cousins immediately declared his love for me and demanded that we marry and my friend was like, wtf, and made sure that he couldn't access my info or anything. Thank God she protected me. It's pretty funny if you think about it but creepyyyy as fuck too.

    Them FOBs be insane.

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  • "Supposedly" I have, not sure if they were trying to make me feel bad though & f**k with my mind. So I picked C maybe.

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  • I'm not sure. I've friendzoned and rejected some guys, but I'm not sure if they were actually heartbroken because of that. I always do it in a nice way though...

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  • Emotional partnership-Relationshipwise i am sure it is a no. I am probably the onewith broken heart always cuz i am the most sensitive one. In friendship and other kinda relationships yes definitely. If someone says no, then that person is definitely lying in my opinion.

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  • No I haven't

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  • Yes, unintentionally though..

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  • Only once that truly counted. It was a mistake. (The other time I was 14 and we were "dating" for 2 days. I'm not counting that).

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  • No, it is always the other way round

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  • I was 18. We were dating, maybe a month or so in and by the time I realized we weren't a match, they said, 'I love you'... :-/

    I felt bad about it for a while, but ultimately I know I made the right decision.

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  • No I'm always the one getting my heart broken, but rejection could be close to that yet it's impossible for me to believe that a random stranger loved me.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 32

  • Yeah, it feels horrible. Having the ability to truly break a person's heart means that you've gotten close enough to them to where you really care about them a lot, and when you break their heart you really lament having done so.

    I've been on the receiving end myself and I know how awful a feeling it is. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, nor would I ever hope to inflict that pain on another.

    What do I think of them? They are wonderful people and I wish them the very best. I want them to be happy, regardless of what that looks like.

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    • Thank you! @p0rtis26 & @Bluemax

      @Bluemax Yeah you're right, that was pretty ambiguous.

      Well, I guess what I was trying to say there was that I hope they find true love and real happiness with someone else, even if it wasn't with me. I wasn't just speaking about the one or two who were heartbroken by me, but also the one that broke my heart as well.

      Even the one that broke my heart and left me in pieces, I genuinely hope that she will find happiness with someone else.

    • Ah, yes! I see. That has happened to me too, and I felt the very same thing. You are perhaps inspiring me to write a question about well-wishing our rejecters/dumpers and how failure to verbalize this or to stick around and remain friends with rejecters/dumpers might be misinterpreted as somehow wishing ill will on them.

      I recently contacted a woman who rejected me and it was the harshest rejection I've ever had to deal with. Her relationship situation isn't very good at all (her admission, not mine). I felt very sorry for her.

      She said she was happy I got married. Believe it or not, so am I. Although I never ever want to go through the horrible horrible pain of seeing my wife die again, if someone offered me a way to somehow "forget" the pain and my wife, I would tell them "Fuck you!"

  • Never. And I don't even think to do that in future.

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  • My heart has only truly been shattered once and it felt horrible. It was fully intentional and she did not seem to care at all for any of my feelings which made it even worse because I had a lot of love, respect and admiration for her. Being hated by the person you care about the most is not fun. :'( It has left a gigantic and incurable wound.

    My other heartbreaks were unintentional by girls. Some of them probably don't even realize they have broken my heart and it's better that way, there is no reason for them to know and feel bad about it. I also think I have broken my own heart by getting attached too quickly to someone, by confessing love or desire to a good friend and by being unable to see or accept failure/impossible love.

    I have never broken anyone's heart though. That would imply that a woman has deeply loved me without me being aware of it which I highly doubt considering the failures of my friendships. I guess it's possible that a girl loved me at some point but never confessed it, in which case she kinda broke her own heart.

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  • I ended a friendship that used to be very close this week.
    I don't think it broke her heart but it wouldn't entirely surprise me if it slightly did.

    Usually its them who broke mine.

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    • Did you recover quickly?

    • Generally yes, this same girl broke my heart before when she got together with a different guy (It was an online long distance friendship and he was closer to her and after all its her choice so i didn't let the friendship go to vain because of it). That took me about a week to stop the hurt and a month to let go of the idea of being together. It had gotten to the point where nothing but a strong intense friendship remained. Sadly as she was extremely busy and didn't make much time for me the friendship drifted further and further apart until the point where i knew i had to end it. She didn't seem to be to bothered about it as in her eyes we indeed drifted apart to much but as i said i wouldn't be surpriced if she was very sad about it after our conversation.

  • Yes I have. But I needed to do what was best for me at the time.

    Quite honestly. Looking back I wish I had never met her. She had a lot of issues. I haven't seen her since, that was 24 years ago.

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  • yes, as a matter of fact 70 percent of the relationships i am in i am the heartbreaker. the last one i simply couldn't handle her controlling issues amd we weren't sexual compatible. she gave me stuff and then later she wanted to send her friends to beat me up... whatever.

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    • Nasty... but harsh don't you think?

    • Well, I didn't want to cause unhappiness. But, I make no apologies for it, either. Each individual has the right to say 'no'.

  • Yes I have, It's not a fun experience.

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  • I haven't ever broken someone's heart because my reasons for ending a relationship were well justified :-)

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  • yes with a sledgehammer :-P

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    • lol, that must have hurt!

  • Nvr have and nvr will. Even if I did, I will always go back to compensate for the actions I've committed.

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  • @Harakiri hey I think this was meant for you.

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  • I'm sure I've hurt a couple hearts can't say I've broken any.. well maybe one but that would be it.

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  • Yes, I have. It sucks.

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  • Yes, How do i feel?

    Nothing whatsoever.

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    • How do you cut off all feelings when you know you've ****ed someone over and made them wanna cry?

  • Never broken any girl's heart. Some girls have broken my heart, but I recover quickly. :/

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    • how?

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    • Why do you still chat with her? She prolly feels sorry for you... or do you still wanna jump into bed with her? :P

    • Because she is my friend. I consider her one of my closest female friends, in that I can share any secret with her and she wouldn't judge me. We also have an amazing ability to chat for hours non-stop without getting bored. So you can imagine she's great to chat with.

      And yea, sometimes I still think of her in a physical way.

  • Yes, absolutely. Although I didn't set out to do it intentionally at all, I had the same thing happen to me less than a week before. Kind of like, 'Sorry, no can do.' It sucks but it happened.

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  • Nope. Thank god

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  • Yeah twice. Long story short, she was REALLY into me and I wasn't into her. We were just good friends I thought.. but it ended badly :/

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  • I have, but it was for the best.

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  • yes... it was an accident thought. never of never though that girl was really into me

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  • Yeah, but it had to be done. There was no other way so I don't feel bad about it.

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  • No I haven't but I got my heart broken twice

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    • And how did she feel about it? how long did you take to recover?

    • No idea how she felt, that if she had a heart in the first place
      It took me around 5-6 months to recover from the first heartbreak
      The second heartbreak took me around a year to recover

  • I have not

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  • No no breaking hearts is not my thang

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  • Don't remind me, I feel sorry them :(

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    • yeahh.. had yours broken too, i presume?

    • Once when I was younger that's why I feel so sorry for a girl when I break her heart especially the last 2 girls. They tried so hard please to me too but if it doesn't feel right , it doesn't feel right !

  • Nope, not even once.

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  • i dont think so, thats why i just let every girl think i like them

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  • Yeah when I beat up my ex's boyfriend cause she cheated on me and her heart fell lol

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  • Breakin' hearts since '92 nigga

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