Anyone help! All advice is needed :(?

I live with my ex boyfriend of 3.5 years. We moved in together 3 months ago, and he broke up with me two weeks after we moved in together. We moved to a city 2 hours from our hometown, and I didn’t adjust well at first. I know the reason he broke up with me, and it’s 99% my fault. The only reason he contributed to us breaking up was that he didn’t communicate well, and if he had prior to breaking up with me then we could’ve probably resolved our issues.
He broke up with me because overall I was a mean girlfriend. I caused fights often over nothing. I put a lot of pressure on him to be the ‘perfect boyfriend’, when he was already a great one (minus the lack of communication). I took advantage of the fact that he wanted to spend his life with me, because I figured he was too good to be true, which ultimately led to me pushing him away. He is crazy for sticking around so long, I really appreciate that he believed I would change overnight.
Since the break up I’ve been changing myself so I can be a better person. I realize that I can’t expect people to want to spend their life with me if I’m manipulative and mean. I can honestly say this break up was a reality check for me, and that I’m grateful he did it so that I can see I need to change. I’m obviously upset he broke up with me, but he’s right for showing me he won’t put up with me causing fights all the time. I’ve been working on my own happiness, trying to get my life together, etc.
Now, the confusing part is that he still acts as if were dating. For the last month or so he would sleep in my bed with me, but I decided to stop that this week. If we’re not dating we can’t act like it. He’s very flirty with me, he touches me (pats on the shoulder, rubbing my back, touching my leg, etc.), is even becoming better at communicating with me (if he says something mean that’s meant to be a joke he’ll apologize for it), and he’s just been changing a lot too. In a good way.
The last week I’ve been spending more time in my room to be away from him, because this break up is relatively hard even after 2 months of being apart. He’s been spending all his time (since the break up) either watching tv, or in his room watching videos. He doesn’t go out, he just stays at home when he’s not working. Also, he wants to live together when our lease is up, and he even asked me to go on a road trip next summer.
I really believe we could make this work if he would just give me a second chance. I tried talking to him a couple weeks ago and he said that he thinks we get along better this way, to which i replied ‘ya because I realize I can’t treat you the way I did and expect you to stick around’. Then he said ‘even if we try again, its not guaranteed we will last forever’, and i said ‘I know nothing is guaranteed, but all we need is a second chance to make it work’. Help?


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What Guys Said 1

  • DO you want to get back with him:? If you do then start by doing small stuff for him, cook him a meal, do his laundry and stuff
    if you dont want him back then get out there and look for other men, tinder is a good choice
    but i gotta say this guy is a sweet heart and you should really try getting him back

    • I want him back, so much. We had our lives planned together, we wanted to marry each other, have kids, travel, etc. I feel like I messed up so bad that I can't get him back. I don't know what else I can do to win him back. I've been nice, I do clean and cook, we take turns, but usually he's home later than I am so I will do it. I just don't know how to get him to give me a second chance.

    • Show All
    • Everytime I've asked for a second chance he's said I don't know.

    • Well cook him a nice meal
      trust me the way to a mans heart is through his stomach

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