He said he wants to be alone but still has feelings? Please help?

I dated a guy for a month and we connected immediately. He was really sweet and would always tell me how much he liked me, that I was perfect and that he missed me right after I would leave. He even bought me gifts everytime he saw me and fixed my car for me even though I tried to refuse. We had sex because it felt right.

Randomly he started becoming distant and then said he can't be with me anymore. I asked why and he said "my ex messed me up so I can't give you my heart at this time" I said that's totally fine I was willing to be friends since I really care about him. I tried asking him to hang out and he said "I need to be alone and work on myself because there's no reason why I shouldn't want to be with a girl like you yet I choose to be alone" I told him it would just be friends that I wanted to be there for him and he said "maybe In the future because I have feelings still because we had sex"

I'm so confused right now. He texted me a few days ago saying "let me know if you replace me" and stuff like that then did to hear from him for two days. I texted him yesterday he replies immediately but short, cold emotionless answers. He texted me today first.

Why is he doing this to me? Why would he spend all that money on me and spend time getting to know me only to throw what we had away? Should I just forget him or will he come around if I keep tryin to be there for him? I'm really sad right now:(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Given the history of him being cheated on in marriage and then left, I can tell you from personal experience that it messes you up. When a girl cheats on a guy, he questions what things he did wrong in the relationship, and how he could have avoided it if he'd done better.
    He could be having severe worries about not being good enough for you, hence the yo-yo action. But I'll tell you this from my experience too... this is something HE has to work through. You can help, but you can't do it for him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • The ex messed me up line is so OOOOLLLLLDDDDDD
    + if you replace me = WHEY I'm finally off the hook w/o guilt

    Sure he invested in you and when close enough, changed his mind
    or (less likely) was tempted elsewhere a better deal
    or (even less likely) things about you began to remind him of ex

  • Sounds to me like he's trying to get back with his ex while keeping you on the back burner in case he and his ex don't work out

    • she's married and they broke up 1 year ago. She cheated on him and left him for someone else so he has trust issues.

    • It just seems fishy to me

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