How can the dumpee get the dumper back after 4 months of the breakup when dumper is with someone else?

Me and my Ex partner were together for 7years and over several times she cheated on me over several times and would be on&off with me like a switch dispite of how many times she cheated and lied I always took her back she was my first love and first ever girlfriend on the 18th July 2014 out of the blue she sends me a long messages saying she can't be with me anymore out of the blue I called her straight away to find out why and what went wrong she wasn't very clear on why so I ask for closure face2face but never claimed it from there I didn't pressure her nore act too needy so I thought I will give it some time before I make another attempt within the next month she calls just to tell me that she's in another relationship with someone else and told me she wants to be my friend I declined then she offered to be a benefiting buddy with me I declined then I said we need to resolve our issues and find out what went wrong I asked her if we can talk face to face she also declined and this left things unsolved between us the last time we spoke was in late September she asked again if we could be friends I strongly disagreed we had an argument and I cut contact with her and changed my number since then its been 2 months since we spoke and she's still in her 3 month relationship with her new partner posting up pictures on Facebook and all that nonsense Its been 4 months how do I go about getting her back should I call, text or just bump into her and what is the right things to say to her if I want her back dumpee's if you ever got your ex's back how did you do it and are you still with them today?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't get back with her. She cheated on you. She obviously never cared about you. You should never have taken her back in the first place. I get that seven years is a long time and she was your first love, but she wasn't right for you. Guaranteed she is cheating on her new boyfriend too. She doesn't sound like a very nice person. She also broke up with you with a message! She didn't do it face to face like she should have. She probably cheated on you with that guy and then left you for him. Keep no contact with her. Just stay single for a while so you can get over her and then start looking for someone new. You'll find a better girl rather then her. She doesn't deserve you.

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    • I see but how can I move on if i don't know what went wrong if she doesn't tell me how would this benifit me to correct the problem within myself in able for me to do this?

    • She's the problem, not you. You shouldn't blame yourself for her cheating. Even if she was unhappy with you, there is no excuse for cheating. I'd say your problem is your confidence level and the fact you don't have any self-respect. If you did, you wouldn't have gone back to her every time, and you wouldn't want to be with her now.

Most Helpful Guy

  • friend, if could id put my hand on your shoulder and look you deep in the eyes with a stern look. move the fuck on. that girl never cared truly about you, cut your loses, mark it off as a bad experience. learn from it, grow. i had a date today and it was bad. no attraction no nothing. that other person flat out told me, you know what? i ordered another beer and flirted with the waitress, put on my head phones and had a great ride home, all buzzed up with good music. never look back at shit that don't matter. a person cheating on you is shit that doesn't matter, its like windows on your pc. drag the icon in the garbage bin and empty it to save space. there are no ifs or but. be confident. be you!

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What Girls Said 3

  • With all due respect, how would you feel if someone's ex came along and took your significant other away from you? Put yourself in that person's shoes. Please, respect yourself and the others involved. Accept that it is over and move on. Unfortunately, love and dating often involve rejection. Work on building your self-confidence so you can handle it in a healthier manner.

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    • I know in life a lot of wrong things can happen but its also not fair when youve been with the person so long put in time an effort in the context of a 7 year period when you was the one being mistreated dispite you treated them so well and never gave up on their wrong doings although she was my first love but in the end she presented the breakup to me out of the blue left me in the cold and rushed into a new relationship without any reason be how is that fair?

    • It is clear this was very painful for you, and I am truly sorry for that, I really am. I don't think adult relationships are a matter of "fairness", because that indicates that relationships are about playing games, and I'm pretty sure you don't want that. hat mindset is one of playing games. Relationships are a matter of making choices, and some people make horribly hurtful and inappropriate choices and you were on the receiving end of that. Her behavior shows poor character, don't stoop to her level. Unfortunately, relationships are also about taking risks. Sometimes things end badly. I am sorry you are hurting, but I think trying to carry out the plan you proposed will only cause you more pain. What if it doesn't work? That's more pain! Move on and let yourself heal. She doesn't deserve you! :)

  • You don't get her back, you move on. Too much politics, already.

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    • Why is it such a bad idea to get her back I mean isin't the guy she's with a rebound?
      Do I even stand a chance atall?

    • You didn't stand a chance, during the relationship. She cheated on you again and again. She didn't see anything wrong with it. Don't you think you're worth more than that?

    • No I'm not quite sure what I'm worth but I know I didn't deserve to be cheated on nore left like this say if I was to message her through a text would that give me some hope because one of my friends still speaks to her and she tells my friend that she still loves me but doesn't love the current person she's with

  • With someone else. That's all that matters. Move on

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's way past time that you give up on her and move on. Face reality and accept it. You are just wasting your time when you should be using that time to find someone else. You can't find someone else as long as you continue to hang on to someone who isn't going to happen.

    You have to give up man. I know you don't want to. I know it won't be easy. But that's what you need to do.

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  • Why would you want her back if she's cheated on you several times? You taking her back like that might be part of the reason why she eventually left.
    For your own good, you need to move on. You can find someone that will put in just as much into the relationship as you do.

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  • 7 years is a long time, but no matter how painful the breakup was or how she treated you, you do not have the right to get revenge because you're pissed off at her. The best thing you can do is to show her that you don't care, even if you do.

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  • So...
    - for years she showed you she wasn't that into you
    - she dumped you
    - she's dating someone else

    Getting her back is not happening.

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  • I don't think they can. The dumper left for a reason.

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    • But say if you don't know the reason?

      And if I was to contact through text message what do you think could happen

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