Should I wait for him or leave? Chinese girl is looking for help. Thanks?

Hi. Sorry about my English , I really need your precious help.

It's my first boyfriend not coming from my country, so I may not understand some behavior. I met him online three months ago, he is Pilipino Asian. Although he speaks English only, we had happy time together. I trust every word he says, try best to improve English in order to understand him better. His personality is ISFJ, introvert. So he always surprise me afterwards that he already made some decisions to change something.

About one month ago, he suddenly decided to jump to another company, I am happy for him. He started to behave busy. Then he called saying his father, possibly have cancer. He was panic. I was very worried. One week later, he called saying his grandmother (auntie of his mother) passed away. I feel so sorry for him, thinking I should be there for him. But I keep calling, he barely text or call back. And, he stopped calling me babe.

I sincerely hope he could be open to me. I choose to trust but he always said he can't talk, he had to go. I was mad so I asked if he still care about me. He replied yes, but he said he was a bad boyfriend since he can't spend time and attention on me, it's not fair to me. I know it's a signal of breaking up but I believe there is still chance. He never talk to me since then.

My friend say he could lie because man can do anything to dump a girl but I don't think so. Who would use family to lie just to dump a girl?

I was thinking about moving on. But I do still care about him. If everything he said was truth, I like him, he likes me. Should I wait for him? It's so torturing.

Thanks a lot.
Great! You know it feels when he updated Facebook again but still don't want to talk to you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Two questions:

    1. How long ago did you talk to him?

    2. How long ago did his grandmother die?

    • Thanks!
      I texted him three days ago. He said he can't talk he has to go.
      His grandmother passed away two weeks ago.

    • Show All
    • Thanks for the advice. I will try it.

    • Godspeed.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like he has other priorities right now. If these stories are true it is probably better off he is alone so he can focus on himself and grieve peacefully. If he is introverted, he might find dealing with his problems a more internal thing and will deny help from you. He is also probably very depressed, he would not be able to focus his energy on you. I would give him time. Maybe text him and let him know you are going to stop talking to him but if he ever needs someone to talk to/get help from you are always there. Make sure you tell him how you feel about him. I would then move on but keep his as a possible future option. He might start talking to you again after he has found peace with himself. Best of luck.

    • Thank you very much! I am happy I searched help from here. Your point is right. If everything is true, it's very hard for me to leave him in desperate. But I have to wait.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I am highly recommend to forget about him and move on. You can keep him as an option but don't serious about him. Good luck


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