Who's been cheated on and stayed... and does this feeling ever go away?

When you've been cheated on more than once by someone, and you've confronted them, they've admitted it all, talked through it, have admitted both your responsibilities in it and what was going wrong in the relationship that lead to it and are FIXING ALL THAT... does the worry that they'll do it again or lie to you again ever go away? They did it before, they lied, more than once, they didn't learn the first time... does that fear ever go away?
Any stories from people who've experienced this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, it does, if you truly forgive and let go.

    • Thanks man. What's your experience?
      I've forgiven and feel I've finally let it all go, it's just the fear that sticks around, which maybe only time with her acting trustworthy can heal?

    • Show All
    • Thanks man. I've done that too, and told her that if it ever happens a third time (or anything like it), this is her last chance, so make better choices this time.

    • If you've settled it and laid down the law and are adamant with it you have nothing to fear. You know you and that is really what matters in a relationship; try to trust them to the fullest extent possible but always know and trust yourself and where you stand.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • My sons dad cheated on me when I was 9 months pregnant with our child until he was 6 months old. When I found out.. I was extremely hurt , I was willing to forgive him Because I wanted to be a family. he gave me the impression that he wanted it to... By saying Im looking for a house for us.. etc on my first official mothers day his mom made dinner for me since it was my 1st... That evening I went home and he went to home which really he went to his "girlfriends house" and then didn't hear from for over 2 months when he decided he wanted to see our son... He since then married the girl... In my honest opinion a tiger doesn't change the stripes... I would never stay with someone who cheated... been there done that... I deserve the moon and stars just as you do.. I'm not going to settle for anything less

    • Damn, that's rough! Good on you girl! That self respect is always an attractive feature :D
      We have 3 kids, and a 4th on the way, which is a big motivator.
      It's like... the family unit is going well, but our relationship, needs a TOTAL OVERHAUL.

    • Show All
    • Basically the counselor said to do what you just said... act like a couple, and she said understand our different love languages (which is what I'd told her all along). Men and woman naturally have differences, gotta navigate those.

    • Yes definitely is it helping

  • My girlfriend was cheated on by her husband. And cheated on again. and again. How does the saying go? Once a cheater? I am so sorry for you, but If my guy cheated on me I would leave as fast as it took to pack my bags. I would be heartbroken, and an emotional mess for a long time, But I would heal-and so would you. One has to respect one's own dignity and if someone cheats on someone else, that trust is broken, for me, forever. I am really sorry to say these things to you, but I feel pretty strongly about it.

    • Not at all :) that's all helpful.
      I feel I'm coming to a place where I'm at peace with it / over it, except for the fear of it happening again, as it did the 2nd time.
      What I tell myself is that - if you want to build trust again, the only way to do it is to give chances for the person to ACT TRUSTWORTHY.

    • I have heard that some couples can mend and people can begin again to trust their cheating spouse. Those couples I think, may do well to work with a marriage counselor. I really hurt for you because I went through that years ago when I was very young and I felt like my heart was ripped out. I cried and cried for months. Then I got the courage to leave. You have to decide if the relationship will hold. Maybe a relationship counselor would help. I ache for you and wish you well.

    • You're very sweet :) and I'm truly sorry that happened to you. I know it's horrible. I hope things are far better for you now, and thanks for your help :D

What Guys Said 1

  • I made the mistake of cheating on my wife with my ex. It happened a lot more than once. I was so terribly stupid. But to my surprise she stuck by me. It took a few years for everything to go back to normal. Although I believe that she forgives me, she has never forgotten and reminds me once in a while, with a passing comment. I thank God for her everyday. It only worked because I wanted to change. She didn't try to change me. As far as the feeling going away... I don't know if it ever will she tells me.


Recommended myTakes