Does how a guy act during a break up mean anything about his true feelings?

If they're angry and blame it all on you, is that acting out of passion? if they're cold and distance does that mean they're hurt? if they act completely fine with it does that mean they also wanted to break up? How do you guys usually act during a break up?
  • angry says things like "it's your fault" = unresolved issues
    Vote A
  • cold, only says a few things like "well you made up your mind" = hurt
    Vote B
  • indifferent/fine with it says things like "it's probably for the best" = agrees you should break up
    Vote C
  • other, please describe?
    Vote D
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Updates:
I guess the poll question is more like which is more accurate?
if you answer other can you please describe

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14

Most Helpful Guy

  • Anger is just anger it doesn't really tell you anything other than he doesn't like it. Because anger makes us want to blame something and it'll just latch on to whatever.

    Cold could mean he didn't care too much or that he's hurt and wants to not deal with it for a while, the feelings will slowly trickle in and he'll process them little by little.

    Being fine, could mean truly fine, or it could mean he's just putting on a good front, trying to play it cool, when in actuality he's dying inside.

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    • which do you think means they're actually hurt by it?

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    • so to you he was being cold and distant to keep from showing his feelings?

    • Not showing them is part of it, but if he really felt strongly about you then he probably feels like he would be overwhelmed if he had to much contact with you. It's more about avoiding painful emotions.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The thing about guys is that they usually don't show emotions often, especially when they're hurt, so the "indifference" attitude could really go both ways.
    My boyfriend and I separated for a few month a while ago. We always kept in touch because our feelings for each other never left nor weakened, but during the break up he was often cold and acted like he didn't care, or tried to make it seem like that. Which would make me think he actually didn't care (wasn't the case, as a matter of fact he directly told me this later, the wall he put up was because of the fact the breakup was so hard on him).
    If he had never cared to begin with, he could've been just as indifferent though (hence, it could go both ways)

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    • well we weren't official but we had been seeing each other, for the second time (he got back in touch with me because I was gone for a while) and I just said I couldn't do it because during serious conversations he could barely say anything about the relationship, he had a bad experience, but still, all I had heard him say so far was that he really liked me, and of course other really genuine compliments on my looks/intelligence. but when I broke it off he was very cold and when I asked him if he had anything to say he just said "well you've made up your mind" and was just in general not comforting, not kind, none of that, it made me feel really bad and I miss him. I want to be able to talk to him again in the future.

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    • Maybe, but I'm not him, so I can't tell you what he feels b/c I'm not in his head. No one is, you can get advice but you can never be sure of how accurate it is because he's the only one who really knows himself, you know? And that's good but love isn't about possession, remember that. Just because you love someone doesn't mean they're THE ONE, or even need to be in your life, really. You can (and should) love people in general. If you can't love someone as a love, love them as a friend. Don't expect people to be "yours".

    • well all I was looking for to be answered was whether or not it seemed like he was hurt by what I did, that he cared enough about it in some way (he acted cold, said "well you've made up your mind" I know you can't read his thoughts, I'm just trying to get reads on behavior

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What Guys Said 3

  • I cried from my last breakup.

    I normally wouldn't have, but this girl was special to me & me losing her was too much. I tried to hold back tears when she was near me or on the phone during the breakup but away from her I was heartbroken & cried.

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    • how did you act when you were around her?

    • I was obviously sad but didn't say much. Just kindof sat there wishing it wasn't happening & wishing I could fix it. Quiet but asked a lot of questions too to try to figure out what happened. Kind of went into a shell & tried to hide my feelings when I was around her. Didn't want her to know how bad I was hurting.

      Blamed myself for a while wondering what I did wrong.

    • he didn't ask me questions at all really, he was just distant and cold and then got angry and said he had to go

  • I picked D because both guys and girls are impossible to understand in a break-up. They usually act in which ever way they can to protect themselves best more so than how they feel.

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    • what does that usually look like to you?

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    • He got out of a long relationship so commitment might be scary for him. Sounds like you both need time to think.

    • Yeah, I know it affected him really badly, I just wish things were different I guess

  • All I can tell you is if a guy ever cries for a girl during a break up, he really loved her and is seriously hurt

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    • he didn't cry, he was really cold and wouldn't really talk to me at all

What Girls Said 0

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