Physically Seperated 2.5 months ago, Mentally apart for over 5. We have a Child and I want her back. Kind of Complicated?

Her Mother moved in right when I left (kind of the reason I did leave). We were fighting constantly. I kind of grew up since then. We have been talking off and on and both of us take responsibility for the way things were. I would like to work on it but she says she isn't ready. I have gotten my own place, lease and all. I am not in a rush I want to take it slow and set rules/boundaries so we can work on the relationship maturely.
The real question I have is; from a girls opinion is she just wanting to make me suffer? at first I was aloof of it all and was happy to be apart, but then the holiday's came. I want to have the happy family for the holiday's and regret breaking up so soon before. She is the product of divorce, of her own parents and has been through her own (with 2 children from that marriage). Maybe I am just insecure but she has her mother there helping and it doesn't seem like my opinion even matters to her anymore. I don't know if it will always be like that. I really just don't understand what she is waiting for... Maybe i am just being selfish.
maybe suggestion on what I can do or and explanation of her behavior from a girls pov?
first question, take it easy on me ty

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  • I think she's waiting it out to see how serious you are about it. You even said yourself, a lot of your feelings of regret right now are because the holidays are coming up. That simply means you're lonely and don't want to be alone for the holidays, not that you truly regret your breakup and want to make it work forever. I think she's waiting it out to have a little space, and see how serious you actually are about getting back together (and not just because you don't want to be alone for Christmas0.

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