Ex girlfriend keeps asking me to explain why I broke up with her, over and over?

I broke up with my last girlfriend because after we had been dating for only a week I'd come to find out she had yet to attain any independence. Its not all her fault, but the fact of the matter is that she needs money, she needs a home, and she needs transportation, and she had virtually no friends other than me, and was taking all of her social needs out of me (mind you, we had only been together for one week.)

I have an extremely busy schedule, working full time and tasking a lot of classes, and I'm against cohabitating before marriage, so for many reasons, I knew that being in a relationship with someone who could not support herself until I'd decided whether or not I would consider marrying her was out of the question.

I was never this blunt with her when I asked for us to stop seeing each other, but I did explain the situation to her in the kindest way possible.

Since the first time I told her why we had to break up, she said she understood and even explained some of it back to me in her own words. Even so, she'd ask me to explain it again the next time she spoke with me. Everytime I explain it she says she understands, but then she asks me to give her closure by explaining it again. I think she's also trying to guilt me by telling me she goes out and gets drunk to avoid thinking about me.

Is she actually confused, or is she just trying to get my attention? How can I best respond to her so she can move on and we can both be over this?

Updates:
So, I kind of forgot to mention, she also mentioned after our first week of talking that she once tried to kill herself when an ex-boyfriend stopped talking to her... if that has any influence on how you advise me to proceed.
So, I responded to her last text by basically saying I was unwilling to talk over the breakup again, because we'd already done it enough times. I also asked her not to make things harder than they needed to be.

If she responds and keeps on trying to guilt me, or drudge up the past, then I'm going to have to stop responding to her. Thanks for your input everyone!

0|0
52

Most Helpful Girl

  • She wants you back she isn't confused she just wants you to be guilted to get back with her. You're going to have to be a dick to get her off your back. I hate to say it because I try to be as nice as possible to people at all times but for this certain type of person you're going to have to put your foot down. Make her hate you, at least then she can move on with her life and leave you alone.

    0|0
    0|0
    • The logical part of me knows that making her hate me would help her get over me, but something about it just doesn't balance with my morality. Its really hard, cause I want her to get over me, but it feels so wrong to make someone hate me.

      Is being hated really the only way to stop being obsessed over?

    • Show All
    • Yeah, there is truth in what you say. Thank you for everything!

    • Anytime! Good luck!

Most Helpful Guy

  • You chose poorly. This will haunt you for a time, but will pass on it's own. Nothing you do will fix it.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm sure I can't fix it, but I need to at least minimize the damage with whatever I do or abstain from doing. Thoughts?

    • Show All
    • Does it make a difference if she's had severe depression and suicidal tendencies in the past? (again, this is stuff I found out after only having known her for about a week.)

    • Well I figured she was mentally ill a long time ago.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • You don't owe her anything. You dated for a week. By responding to her you are giving her attention, which is why she keeps txting you in the first place. She is not mentally stable if she tried to kill herself. Like wtf. Why would she tell you something like that? If it was true then she wouldn't want you to know about it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • She will unfortunately probably just keep bothering you. She sounds needy. It'd be best to block her number, stop answering or just be brutally honest so she'll stop asking why.

    0|0
    0|0
  • OK so tried to kill herself because a man stopped talking to her come on you got to be kidding, i lived with someone who beat me, was living a double life, mentally tortured me and I never thought of doing this. You only dated a week i think you will find that you have gained yourself a nutter you dont owe her anything if she has no money no job and no transportation this is her problem and tbh i have two children i work very hard and I have all of those things no one handed me them on a plate you need to get rid of this woman she will just drag you down. She needs to know the value of things herself and she won't until she has gained them herself i take people for who they are but if they are not willing to put the effort in themselves a little i would stay clear

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like she's attention seeking.

    You said it yourself, she was trying to use you to meet all her needs, she's still trying this.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well, how can I handle it now? Just ignoring her messages seems so cold and goes completely against my nature.

    • Show All
    • True. If she'd understood that we might have lasted longer than we did.

    • Your best option is just to avoid her.

What Guys Said 1

  • I would say you had a lucky escape! She sounds cray cray.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...