Is it possible and logical to get back long distance boyfriend back?

Hi everyone. We broke up due to distance with good terms. We talked two or three times since breakup for birthday purposes. Apart from that, we never talked. We had dated a year before going for long distance. So we know each other individually. It has been almost a year since we broke up. After bu, we had 2 months of no contact and then I initiated all the little talks (3 times) and he was texting right away and nicely. But stillI I feel like he is over me totally and does not want to talk to me anymore (all made up in my mind). So I am afraid to humiliate myself by writing him. I am actually over him I can live without him. However, I do want to talk to him again (suddenly yesterday I started wondering what he is doing I don't know why) and start some things again since I might be moving to his country (not because of him just a job opportunity as an international career) next May. But I do not know if it is a great idea to start talking. Last time we talked I felt like he is forcing himself to be friendly. (Well you never know how the feelings are over the messages or emails. But still it was my intuition.) I am not sure if he has a girlfriend but from our only common friend that I am still talking to, I understood he does not have one and he moved out from his flat to move with friends cuz he doesn't wanna live alone anymore. I deleted him from all social networks and changed my Whatsapp number not to communicate until I move on, so I don't know what is going on in his life since the first day we broke up.

So my question is: is one year (around 10 months) too long to send him an email to talk to him? What should I write him? Would it be bothering him? Is friendship just stupid since we already have distance and who needs a distant friend? What should I do? Why did I suddenly start missing him dearly when I did not even remember him for about 5-6 months (since the last talk)? is it because i am going through a stressful period?


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What Guys Said 1

  • If you wish to talk to him, you can email and tell him you may be moving to his country and why. at a minimum it would be nice to have a friend there who can tell you things you might need to know.

    As for why you suddenly wanted to talk to him, it is probably because you are going through a stressful time and just wanted to connect with someone that you enjoyed.

    Take it a step at a time

    • Maybe you are right. I do not want to humiliate myself. I am not a weak woman and I know I breathe and live without him and since we broke up even though I was depressed for the first 3-4 months, I managed to achieve great things in my both professional and educational career. However, since the Thanksgiving as I spent it alone due to job and my family going back to the other state to visit relatives, I felt so desperate. I do not know what to tell him if I send an email. I am an atheist person so I don't celebrate Christmas and he knows that, and he is Protestant. I was wondering if it is logical for me to wait until Christmas and send him a happy Christmas email (using Christmas as an excuse.) However, even though I am not religious it doesn't make sense for me because he knows me. So I am pretty confused. Do you think I should wait until this stressful period is over so I can re-assess my thoughts and feelings and see if I still need to talk to him? Or should i just talk?

    • There is nothing wrong with emailing him to say (use your own words) " Was thinking of you the other day, when I found out that i have a job starting in May in insert city. I am excited about it. Any tips you might have about the city would be great! I hope you are well." that is an easy way to just email him. If he answers nicely then at least you know he is willing to be friends... if not, then you know and you move on. There is nothing humiliating about asking a friend/contact about some place you are moving to.

      Now then, if you know (And you do) that you could EASILY fall for this guy again, then perhaps it is best to wait a bit until some of the antsy feelings you currently have go away. Then you aren't doing this from emotional, but simply from a friendship perspective.

      There is a saying "A good decision today is a good decisions tomorrow." In other words you don't have to do it RIGHT NOW. Give it a day or two and see how you feel.

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