There's 3 kids already involved, and a 4th on the way.
Love between these 2 people has obviously been severely tested, but then can't love grow in even the darkest holes?
And both people have recognized and admitted responsibility for not having recognized and/or met each other's needs.
Who'd stay and work it out (and where would you start?)
Who'd go and place respect for themselves first?
- Stay and work it out (because kids)
- Stay and work it out (for love)
- Get the fuck out and sort out the problems you contributed.
Most Helpful Girl
Here's the thing, it's easy for someone to look at a situation and say " I would never
do that", but realistically speaking. Until one is in that situation, they really have no
idea what they would do. So, I could say that if I was married and my husband cheated
on me that would be it. However, I don't really know what I do. Especially, if I felt we were
soul mates and I truly loved him. So, I'll do it in a hypothetical tense of what I think I
might do. If he cheated on me once and it was accident and he was truly sorry and
willing to go to therapy with me, sleep in another room and understand I might not
want to be intimate for awhile (since he slept with another woman). Then I'd be willing
to try and work things out, as long as he realizes it's a process and everything won't be back
to normal in the snap of a finger. Infidelity, is a BIG deal and I wouldn't take it lightly.
If he cheated on me a second time, after I trusted him again and already took him back
once. There would not be another chance. Because, that would prove that he doesn't
love me the way I love him and that he didn't really care about me, our marriage, our love
and especially our children. So, it would just be over. How's that saying go? "fool me
once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". So, there wouldn't be a second chance.
As for your situation, I think it's very admirable of you to want to stay and work things out
for the kids sake. However, she cheated on you twice and the second time was for
revenge because she thought you cheated, when you didn't. I think you need to get
a divorce, because she did it twice and you keep taking her back. Which, gives her
the chance to cheat again because she knows you'll just keep taking her back. So, though
it's great your putting your kids first. You also want to teach them that's it's not okay let
people to walk all over you and take advange of you (which she's basically doing).
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Most Helpful Guy
Once you bring kids into the mix you need to make every effort to stay together. This is true whether your ego needs are met or not. These four kids did nothing to deserve the chaos of growing up with a split home. Their world should not be destroyed because two adults were selfish.