We broke up but this is what she said? I'm confused?

"You shouldn't have to make me happy. That is ridiculously unhealthy. I have to be happy with myself first before i can be happy with anyone else. And thats what i'm working on is me. I'm trying to find things that make me happy again."

I don't understand this, she says I made her happy. It was hard for her to see me try. I didn't care if I tried I did it because I care.

Updates:
Its so hard guys, she made me happier. I cry every few days, this fuckin sucks lol. Thank you for the advice though.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It means she doesn't like herself and she is in maybe a mild depression, she doesn't know what to do, where to go and still searching for herself and that bothers her cuz current uncertain situation and not knowing who you are is killing her and making her happy. Only thing that makes her happy is you putting full effort to make her happy. But that won't do any good to him cuz when she is happy with you she is just lazy to try to find herself and she defines herself and her happiness with you. But she knows in te long run this will ruin both of you and your relationship: one is always trying to get things happy, the other one is getting more dependent on the other one to feel happy... The relationship is getting close to a deadlock and she knows she cannot nurture a relationship neither help it to grow to become a serious and lifelong relationship. So she needs to find herself, define herself, her goals in life and finds what she likes and wanna do before commiting to a relationship.. Once she gets to know herself she will know she is ready for a relationship and grow with a person...

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What Girls Said 2

  • She might be feeling smothered and that she doesn't do the things she loves anymore. Tell her you understand and that you hope she can be happy. Then do not contact her, and give her some space.

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  • She was just saying that to be nice it's one of those "it's not you its me" moves

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    • I dont think that is true. She just simply means that she still loves him but she cannot make her happy in the long run cuz she is already not happy as who she is and so she cannot add anything up to the relationship. Relationships cannot grow and go further when one part is simply dependent on the other to be happy... And that part can't nurture a relationship at all. What she said is not typical it is not me it is you move.

    • It is not you it is me** move i meant lol

    • Either way, he can't wait around for her he needs to move on with his life even though it's tough every day will get easier and before he knows it he will be A okay

What Guys Said 1

  • The point is you need to be happy on your own before you're happy with other people. If you NEED somebody else to be happy and that person splits or dies then you're fucked. Besides a relationship can mask other personal problems you have that you can only deal with when you're by yourself.

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