I was cheated on apparently - How should I even take this?

A little over a year ago I broke up with my only serious girlfriend. I broke up with her because she was really distant and we barely talked or saw each other, so why bother. I was down for a little but i was completely over it after a couple months.

But now a year+ later its coming back and now I feel worse than ever. The past couple days I've heard from a handful of different people that apparently she was cheating on me with a WAY younger kid. she's my age (23) and he's like a freshmen or sophomore at MOST in high school. he's the oldest of a family of kids she used to babysit and she actually moved to another state with the family.

I know I shouldn't but this makes me feel like such s***... Like me, as a 22 (at the time) year old man, wasn't good enough for her time but some young kid was/is? And it definitely doesn't help that I've had absolutely no success with the couple of girls I've pursued since the break up and I didn't even know about this until the last couple days. Like how am I supposed to have any confidence when I've been rejected by every girl I've ever pursued except one, and that one apparently cheated on me with a little kid? I feel like garbage...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like she's just insecure and that's why she's cradle robbing.

    My now ex-boyfriend cheated on me and rebounded with 19 year olds (he's 26!) because he's insecure about his status/success in life, but can still seem "cool" to younger girls who are just as lost as he is. They'd still look up to him because he was this older guy, even though he's really accomplished nothing in life and kind of a douche. People like this are dumb to not appreciate the love and support they already have from their significant others. They're so broken that they need to seek cheap thrills because it's easier for them to find instant gratification than actually deal with their insecurities and work towards improvement.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand your pain. I had only one girlfriend before the age of about 30 and you would not believe what she did to me.
    What I can tell you is that there is no profit in letting the situation run around inside your head and becoming bitter and/or angry about it. That will poison your soul. I have been there.
    Move on and as much as possible forget that she existed. As they say in the gangster movies: "she is dead to me."
    Decent young men (you sound as though you may be one) have to understand that between the ages of about 15 and 25/30 the vast majority of females will throw themselves crotch first as the most worthless piece of shit bad boys whom they can find. During the late 20s most of them begin to realise that the bad boy is not husband material, nor is he the "fun" or "exciting" partner that Hollyweird and Madison Avenue portrayed him to be. The drinking, drugs, minimum-wage job and the berth in the trailer park get old after a few years.
    In the case of your former girlfriend, there is more than the bad boy phase going on. It is fairly unusual for a female to go for a much younger male. This speaks of a need to be in control, to dominate the relationship. Of course, he may have been hung like a p*rn star and that was the beginning and end of the attraction.
    Whatever it was, move on. You have nothing to gain through torturing yourself.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't say that kind of crap about yourself. I couldn't land a decent boyfriend until I was 22. Before that I thought there was something wrong with me, but now I know I was looking in the wrong places. Maybe you are too. Sounds like your ex was crazy town.

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  • She was clearly insecure and not ready for you its so complicated. But its normal to be upset and even angry you deserve someone much better than her cause what goes around comes around

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What Guys Said 5

  • Don't expect women to be sensible and make good choices in men, when they are cheating.
    An example: my brother is fit , healthy , intelligent and good natured. He had a good job and was buying a home. His first wife ran off with a man who was unemployed.

    Just forget about her, and sharpen up your skills when it comes to approaching women. There are always things you can improve there.

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  • NO you should feel like shit. there's no reason in any part of a relationship where one partner cheats. dating and love's foundations come from mutual trust. she just violated that. if you are a good man, then you deserve a good women, not someone who deosnt take you seriously.

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  • DUDE she was nuts. Honestly the fact he was still in highschool while she was in her mid twenties. She was just a out right slut. Watch out for them. Those girls that text 10 guys and only have one girlfriend? Yeah they're that way for a reason. Just don't sweat it. And next time, make sure she's a clean faithful, smart, girl.

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  • That's a shitty deal bro, but you're not alone. It's in the past and that's where it should stay. Move on and become a man that every woman wants. Go to the gym, read, and grow some balls. I promise you that the women will get better if you stop pining for stupid shit that happened a year ago and focus on you.

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  • lol, she's got a screw loose if she's fucking some kid she used to babysit! it's time to move on from all this bullshit and start a fresh, it is doable. in a few years time she'll be scratching around town with some deadbeat and you'll be cruisin!

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    • I was going to say the same as this guy. Don't sweat it. She's the type that'll end up on the front page of some paper on child molestation charges.

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