Is this reason enough to break up with my boyfriend?

This is a long-standing issue that seems to pop up quite often. He never has all that much time for me. Mostly school, work, whatever. I understand that those will come first above me. I could get over him not being able to chill as much as me, nobody's schedules can ever perfectly coordinate. But he tries to save face saying he'll go here and there with me, or just chill with me the next day only to cancel the day of with the same old 'sorry baby, I know you feel neglected'.

If I bring up guys who I see at work or school a lot, or even the gym who I think are hot, it bothers him. Which I get but for the gym especially, what makes him think he has the right to rarely come out with me, yet complain that I go when there are some attractive guys also working out? Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too.

It feels like it's reached a breaking point. I can't see this lasting long-term in all honesty... him saying sorry has lost all meaning because he says it so often, says he's trying his hardest but nothing's changing.

Does this sound like reason enough to ask for a break, or potentially break-up after we discuss?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I stopped reading after the first paragraph. Nothing should come before you! that's if you are significant enough for him.
    We all have goals, jobs and obligations. If he valued you he wouldn't make you feel like the last on his list of priorities..
    Your feelings are vaild. You have every right not to settle

    • I know, I tell him that and he guilt-trips me, asking if I'd prefer for him to just drop out of school and not work, which of course makes me back down and continue putting up with such treatment. But in my opinion, everyone can have time for a significant other if they want it enough and make time for them. I feel almost disrespected by the fact that he fails to see that, but then he makes me feel guilty bringing me back to square 1. :(

    • Like I said, he is busy, but doesn't have to make you FEEL bad about your needs.
      He is over his head and shouldn't be in a relationship at this time, and you don't need to fall into his guilt trap.
      Go on and live your moments. You won't get them back

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What Girls Said 4

  • Me and my bf are the other way around. I'm BUSY with school. I mean I'm loading on the classes so I can get the hell out of there. He is busy with work too, late hours. As a smart woman, even though I love him, my education and career will ALWAYS go first because I want to buy whatever the hell I want and do whatever I want so that I'm not left there not knowing what to do if we were ever to break up. However, I can understand your loneliness and concern. Sit him down and have a serious conversation and tell him that you aren't looking to settle down but you're sure as hell not looking to waste your time on someone that won't value his woman when you can be going out and enjoying your life.

  • I think if you're un-happy with the current situation of your relationship, then that is always reason enough. Your happiness should come first!

  • break up. he's taking you for granted if a guy really wanted to see you he'd make time for you

  • Yes. From my own experiences, he sounds like a smooth talker. Doesn't want to be seen with you, not because you're not gorgeous, but doesn't want to blow his cover. I had a man like this and I was too dumb to See what was right In front of me! Those types have too many irons in the fire and will eventually get busted. If it's not a serious relationship just walk away. If it is, I'd say be a detective, bust him, and walk away with an F U flying. Just because there's no reason to get played. It's not fair. Those types usually say what they have to in order to keep you around because they know you're a good girl and they should treat you better but aren't ready to. Well that's not worth your confusion and I'm sure you're better than that. Take it from someone who learned a hard lesson. Men mean what they say, And if they want you they want you, and nothing gets in the way.


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