He dumped me last night, then changed his mind?

I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. We are in a long distance relationship and I was supposed to move in the next couple of months. However, for unforeseen reasons which are beyond my control, I cannot leave for another year. It sucks obviously but we'd still be able to see each other frequently just like we have been for the last 1.5 years.

I noticed yesterday that he was being weird, sort of quiet and distant. I asked him if anything was wrong and first he said everything was ok and then eventually he said it would be best to end the relationship. His reason was that I cannot move when we planned for me to move. Obviously, I was really upset. It's hard enough for me that I cannot move right now, but him dumping me was truly like a kick in my face. We talked for a couple of hours and we both cried and then he said I should forget what he said. I told him he doesn't have to say that only because he pities me, he said he loves me and wants to be with me.

I just woke up and I feel crap. He normally sends me a message in the morning but there's nothing from him now. The whole thing just feels weird because for two hours we were broken up and then he takes it back. Now he is quiet again. I don't know what to think or do. I love him and I want to be with him, but I don't want to be on an unpredictable roller coaster. I feel like the fact he even thought of dumping me is alarming. I want to be able to rely on him but right now, I feel like he will just dump me again. I wanted to send him a nice message when I woke up but messaging him felt "wrong".

Ugh I just don't know. I love him but I'm scared.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The whole not being decisive about breaking up or not is due to this: He is very ATTACHED and he TRULY wants you in his life. His being upset is most likely not due to you not being able to move. Perhaps you could ask for the real reasons behind his behavior? Is something going on with him that you might not be aware of?
    As far as texting him is concerned, until you're sure he is no longer ambivalent about his relationship with you, I say you keep it casual and try not to divulge too much emotions when communicating with him. It would probably be easier for both of you to solve this issue when emotions are not in the way.
    Best of luck!

    • Thank you very much, you made me feel a bit better :-)

    • Glad I could help ;)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Blahblah, it's called "stress" and it's part of relationships. You WILL have to learn to deal with your partner's.

    He's being a bitch, and you're reacting too strongly; he suffered disappointment and spread that shit around like the plague.

    • It's not news though that I cannot move for a year. We knew about it since about September, and it's actually for only a year (as we found out earlier this week) as opposed to 1.5 to 2 years as we thought it would be in the beginning. I hope it is just stress and that there's not some "real" reason behind it.

    • Sometimes reality hits you like a truck. Like it hit him. :p

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