How do you guys do it? No contact?

I've noticed that usual most guys have an easier time not contacting an ex, or it seems that way, even if they were on really good terms the whole relationship and just had a rough break up. How do guys not miss the girls enough to want to talk to them? My ex was my best friend, how can he not still want to talk to me? He always told me that we would remain friends even after we broke up, but in the heat of the argument, I told him I don't want to be friends. He knows I would never mean it.. I tried to talk to him yesterday and he changed his number... It's only been two days. I gave us both a full day to cool off. How can you just leave like that? We used to talk every day for hours through text and calls or see each other from 9 am till when we slept.. For months. How can that be so easy to walk away from.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "How do guys not miss the girls enough to want to talk to them?"

    We were never that keen on talking to them in the first place, even when things were going well. Talking isn't something we need the way girls seem to need it.

    "My ex was my best friend, how can he not still want to talk to me?"
    Because he's your ex. You might as well ask how can YOU not want to sleep with him anymore, since sex seems to function in an equivalent way for guys that talking does for girls.

    "in the heat of the argument, I told him I don't want to be friends."
    Ah, there you go. The grenade you lobbed. You knew it all along, didn't you? This is your answer right here.

    "He knows I would never mean it"

    Bullshit. Guys don't know what you mean, because we're not mind readers. What you SAY, is what we assume you mean, because we say what we mean.

    Girls, you need to learn something - you can't throw a nuke into a relationship and expect there to be no consequences. There are no do-overs.

    So now you have your answer, like you always had it. You told him you didn't want to be friends. He took that at face value. And yeah, he can walk away from it because talking to you wasn't the most important thing in his life when it came to you.

    Now that you've split up, you don't get to hang on to the parts of the relationship you liked.
    If that were the case, most guys would still be fucking their exes.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Im in no contact with my ex of 8 years broke up 3 months ago and he always initiates contact even though he has had a new mrs from 1st wk of break up he uses excuses to contact me and lies to her about what is actually happening.. I was hurt badly but I know that no cintact is the best all around i blocked him now on everything so he can't contact me. you ain't gona be able to move on until you stop contact and im sure only a few days he is hurtin and angry with you.. Leave him be and if he loves you he will begin the contact hunny

    • Thank you for replying

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What Guys Said 3

  • Because men are willing to take a loss, relationship wise, way easier than women. What you've got to realise is you said some malicious shit to him and he went "alright, fuck this crazy bitch." And broke off all contact because who needs the aggravation.
    He's doing what's best for him and i've gotta applaud him for doing it.

    • Actually, I didn't tell him anything crazy at all... I broke it off because he stopped acting like my best friend. He told me something 5 days ago that hurt me a lot. Then 3 days ago, he told me he lied and said it just to get attention... That's not right.

      Please don't assume it's always the girls messing up.

    • Show All
    • He was my best friend first. Can you stop assuming things? And that's crazy... The person you date should be your really good friend. Otherwise, how do you have fun together? What do you have in common? Its more fun and when it to date a person you get along with and are attracted too. It's not all just about.. She's hot and okay to talk to do I'll date her and hope it works.

    • I'm not saying you shouldn't like each other. I'm saying you need a best friend that you're not in a relationship with. Because when it all goes base over apex you've still got you core friendships standing

  • It's not easy to move on from an ex and no contact isn't easy to implement and uphold but it is necessary to move on and start a new chapter in the journey of life.

    No contact is not easy for the person who instigates it much in the same way it's not easy for the person on the receiving end of no contact to accept but most of the time no contact is the best possible solution for both parties.

    FWIW I could never be friends with an ex girlfriend and I wouldn't want to carry excess baggage with me into the next relationship as that is not fair on the new girl in my life.

  • In my experience women do move on easily, although that's only what it looks like... So I try to move on and get on with my life too. Exes usually get back in touch when they find out you've started seeing someone new or something, their ego can't take it so they want to see if they can fuck with you lol. I guess it depends on the break up, if it was bad I usually never want to see them again, there's something about falling out with someone you were once very close with, being stabbed in the back.


What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not in a relationship with my ex anymore and its been about 9 months since we've talked. When March comes it will be a year. It was difficult for me to move on from my ex but it was worth it of course. We go to the same school together and all of a sudden he's been trying to get my attention and say hi to me. I don't want him to get the idea of us being friends or even getting back together. My ex mistreated me, used me, told me to go to hell, treated me like a dog, and played me. He made up dumb excuses about not trying in the relationship and always being busy and stuff. And I'm just like a relationship is like a full time job don't apply if your not ready. He flirts with other women, doesn't know what kind of relationship he wants or what kind of women he wants in his life. I'm at that point now where I know what kind of relationship I want and what kind of gentlemen I want in my life. I cut off all contact with him once he and I broke up. I was like I've had enough, I don't want us being friends, and were not enemies we are more like strangers. I think being friends with an ex is a waist of time, when you have so much time to move on and start a new chapter in your book. The not contact rule for me was difficult when my ex broke up with me because I had to see his face everyday and it just made me fall for him all over again. But after a while, I just started acting like he didn't exist and it works like a charm and has helped me move on so much.


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