I can't handle this any longer, should I just go away?

A couple of days ago my boyfriend of 1.5 years dumped me. I cried a lot and he ended up saying I should just forget it and that he's sorry. He has been weird ever since and I feel like he only lingers because he doesn't want to hurt me and because I always told him that I don't stay in touch with ex-boyfriends as it's too painful and (in my opinion) unhealthy. I know he still wants me in his life as a friend at the very least.

Because of him being weird I suggested that he only lingers for those reason but deep down inside wants to break up. He said "but you are many things to me. You matter a lot". I told him that these things might be true. But that he doesn't love me. I also added that "I feel so empty". All he said to this was "don't be". I asked him "since when" referring to the not loving me part. And he only said "I don't know".

What should I do? I know he doesn't want to hurt me but the fact is that he IS hurting me. It's inevitable. I don't want him to stick around for the wrong reasons.

Should I just cut contact now? I feel like if he doesn't love me, it's inevitable that he will leave eventually. And I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me. So it seems the pain is inevitable so I might as well face it now.

What to do?
Updates:
Thanks for all the answers. I think it is time to move on. I made it clear to him earlier that I want to talk. Well, he just sent me a message saying he's going out. It's like he doesn't even care that I'm upset. Last night I asked him about plans for tonight and he said he had none. So it's pretty disrespectful of him to make plans when there's this big thing going on. I guess he prefers to avoidance path, but that's a path I am not willing to take. I deserve better than this. Everyone does.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should cut contact off. Having an ex that you miss and care about in your life as a friend is only going to mess with your head. He sounds like a caring guy, he obviously doesn't want to hurt you, but that's not a reason to stay with you. If you let it linger, and drag it out, it's only going to delay the healing process and it will take even longer for you to get over him. Every relationship that ends hurts someone. Everyone in the world can tell you that time heals all wounds, but when you're going through it, it doesn't feel like it will. If he says he doesn't love you anymore, he's not going to back to feeling that way.

    There is no sugar coating it. You will hurt, you will feel empty, you may feel sick to your stomach, you will feel depressed. You might not want to eat, or want to do nothing but eat. There is no way around it. The sooner you start the grieving process, the sooner you will get through it and move on. Spend time with family, with friends, find things to do to distract yourself. I've been through it, and if you spend time alone and think about it too much, you will drive yourself crazy. Eventually, you will be ok. Good luck!!!

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What Guys Said 2

  • You could express how you feel and what he would need to do to make you feel better again. After that if nothing changes then you know the answer, but there's nothing wrong with giving him a chance.

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  • Get rid of this assclown. He isn't doing you any good and he's a regular Wrecked Romeo to boot.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It doesn't have to etched in stone, sweetie, to see that although he may still want you in his life, he doesn't want to be hooked at the hip, tied down or even reminded every day That-----Since when... referring to the not loving me part.
    He wants this break up to be painless, wants you around but wants it on his terms. He wants you to accept things for what they are, not to over think it all the time now and just let things go for now to see what may happen in the future between the both of you.
    You both had been like two birds of a feather for a Month of Mondays. But now, as much as 'He is hurting me,' you have only two choices here. You can either stick it out, stick around on his tough love terms and be friends for now and see if there might be more in store again or... give him his walking papers, stand your own ground and tell him you don't want the friends with benefits fling thing, should he want this or to be buds at this time right now, that it's killing you inside.
    Good luck. xx

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  • First off, this is so hard. Breakups are the worst thing ever. Don't feel bad about being upset, just cry it out. Now, I don't want to come across harsh, but It doesn't sound like you loves you anymore, and I think you're right, he's staying with you in order not to hurt you. But, if like you say you are hurting, your upset and the relationship is not bringing you happiness, it's time to end it. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't really want to be in it? I think you have to right idea, you should probably end it. If you don't want to be friends, that's your choice and he should respect you. However don't just cut contact. Talk to him. Explain that you understand where he is coming from, and you appreciate his consideration of your feelings, but that you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you. Its fair to both you and him. Then deal with the breakup how you see fit, either being friends or not. Personally I just sit in PJs with my girlfriends, cry and eat a lot of icecream (cliché, I know!). Remember, it will get easier. Stay strong, and remember you will find the perfect guy one day x

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  • Yes break it clean it's the only way to be free you know it deep down!

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  • hope everything turns out okay...

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