sorry for the complicated question. I just moved away from my narcissistic mother, and my brother who is turning into one. A couple of days ago she asked if I wanted to move back in, and I told her how I felt about my brother, his girlfriend who assisted in the destruction of the relationship, and I also told my narc. mom that "she didn't really like me, and that I'm usually the cause of us not speaking." She responded with "ok." I was wondering if I did the right thing because I read that narcissists seek revenge. i guess my question is, am I safer because I blamed myself and not her?
When you leave a narcissist, is it better to blame yourself for the relationship failure in order to avoid narcissistic revenge?
What Guys Said 1
No... she is a narcissist, you are never going to be safe in that way because it is all about her.
To be safe, you have to be able to realize that she is messed up and isn't your fault. You just need to respect her as your mother, but then move forward with your life. Respecting her as your mother does not mean she gets to rule your life. It just means that you aren't nasty to her when she is being nasty to you (not fair I know) and that when she REALLY needs your help, you try to do that as best you can.
Sorry it is this way.. sucks.0
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