GUYS&GIRLS: why would you hurt the person you love?

my boyfriend of three years has been being hurting me so much. I've cried all the time and we stay fighting. I keep telling him that he's hurting me and he says okay. It's clear to see that he doesn't care but he claim he does care and he doesn't like hurting me. I asked him why he's been acting this way and he says he doesn't know. Why hurt the person you spent three years with for "no reason"? I tried breaking up with him and he told me he doesn't want me to leave him. Yet I called it off for good. Do you think he misses me or not? Please answer all my questions- thank you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I really don't go out of my way to hurt someone I love. Most of the time it's unintentional. Before it escalates into something that involves screaming and throwing things, I try by method of reasoning, by example and by comparison or role exchange. If my message doesn't get across or the other person is either being emotionally immature, irrational and stubborn or uncompromising, selfish, self-centered, attention hogging, smothering, needy or just being a bitch I shut off and push the person away by either leaving and finding my own space to calm down and take a break. But sometimes it's hard when we share a living space. When it comes down to that I hold my ground. It really depends on the other person based on their own relationship experience, emotional intelligence, and ability to compromise and how quickly the other person calms down (ties in to emotional intelligence and accountablilty). I find that most women don't hold themselves emotionally accountable to their reactions, and have a difficult time of letting go of a grudge and being forgiving. I try to make it clear in the beginning that I too am not perfect and if I make a mistake I hope we can either talk or work it out. I also hope there's space for forgiveness.

    • Are you saying that he might be doing that with out realizing it? Would you be kind of upset once she leaves your for good?

    • It depends on how you behave or react to what he's doing. It also depends on what he's doing to you to hurt you. And NO its NOT "okay" as he says. You have to be strong and not talk to him. You need a break and he needs time to reflect on the relationship and what he's done. He needs to miss you and you need time to heal. Sometimes relationship becomes toxic over the years when we start relaxing our guard and letting things get out of control. You need to regain control of your relationship by making him know what he's missing out on.

    • So you're saying that is we break up he will look back on our relationship and some what miss me? Or would he completely move on?

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Listen-You two are not compatible. It is just as easy as that.. The hard part is separating yourself emotionally from him. I don't know why he is hurting you, or how, but I do know that no woman should have to endure being hurt! And I don't know whether he misses you or not. What I do know from experience is that the relationship IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU! So don't worry about whether he is missing you-worry instead about your needs and. your desires. Do you want to be happy and not be hurt? Then walk away. It may hurt for awhile, but if you stay with this guy you will be hurting forever.

  • He wants you to stay for his own ego
    Don't like him hurting you? Be strong and leave


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