How can I put all of this behind me? My cheating ex gf of 3 years. Left me for another guy and I just can't seem to get back up on my feet again?

Its been 6 months since we broke up. And 4 months since we last spoke, she cheated on me before and i forgave her for it but also i was scared to lose her and i had problems trust her, she lied a lot and hid things from me and that turned me into a person i didn't want to be i accussed her a lot and i didn't want her talking to guys or having their numbers, i didn't have it in my heart to break up with her but for 3 years this went on.

This yr she left me and lied to me about another guy , she hid the text mag from him and i found the message and i didn't kbow what to think. She was the one who wanted me to trust her but lie to me about things, i trusted her, but in the end she ended up with the guy she was texting from her school. The same we wk she broke up with me she started messing with him. And 3 wks got with him, and now. I begged her for 2 months straight actually i left her alone for couple wks in those 2 months and i cried apologized too het and told her i would change and i want us to do better , she didn't know that i know that she was messing with the guy but she was denying feelings and being with him,

It bothers me so much that after everything i sacrificed for her, friends and basketball for the relationship, and i forgave her 3 years ago for cheating, that she would turn her back on me. She told her family and evetyone lies about why she broke up with me and make it seem like she is the victim, she said she broke up with me because i didn't trust her and i was insecure. And she

She claim that i didn't treat her right but i did a lot for her, at this age 17 i did so much for her, i had her back all the time for the past 3 years ever since she moved she changed abd did this too me, i just can't get my head around it, I've been feeling better for the past 4 months of nc but i can't help but check up ob her and then i feel hurt all over again i feel the pain.
I feel so lonely now, i have no one to talk too and im shy in school and dont really talk to anyone, i feel broken, i lost my passion for basketball and i quit playing

I hurts me everynight, sometimes i dream about her and i wake up crying. I can't get over the betrayal, i can't even get my self to talk to other girls bc im scarred and im not attracted to most girls i see, i can't get my self out of this phase,


Most Helpful Girl

  • That's incredibly shitty of her to abuse your kindness and love after you found a way to forgive her. It's so hard to say any one thing that will help and sadly time is the main healer here.

    Try hard not to look at old photos, in fact, if you have a lot then delete the majority and keep just a few special ones. If you're friends on Facebook, unfriend her. Delete all your texts and then her number. Return any last things of hers you may have (via someone else). If you haven't already done all this then it may be a good process to go through.

    • Thing is when i found out that she was messing with the the guy she was lying to me about, i deleted her number and pictures of us and she deleted me from fb and block me and unblock me but i deleted my fb and havnt been back on it but i made a fake one. I saved screeen shots of everything that happen and every couple wks i look at them it kinda keeps me from contacting her bc sometimes i just crave to hear her voice again and i have to remind my self what the hell she did too me and i feel bitter again and i back off from contacting her, but I don't know how to. stop this, i want to have friends again and i want to talk to girls but i feel bad and guilty for some reason although i didn't do anything, wromg

    • Sounds to me like you feel guilty about moving on from the relationship because you still think it was good. Or at least better than what you're going through now. Do you think maybe that by keeping those images and reminding yourself of the deceit that you might not be allowing yourself to let go and move on? Part of moving on is also letting go of negative feelings.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Omg i seriouslly cannot imagine what ur going throu but i no it hurts my ex just dumpd me 3weeks ago we whur also together for 3years
    It hurts doesn't it feels like there's a sharp pain in ur heart and it just stays there its depressing an u do nothing but think think think i no what u r feeling

    • And i dream of my ex aswell

    • Show All
    • i know its really hard I was cheated on in the previous relationship not this one of 3years the one before that it took me 1year too get over that and I thort wtf u lefted me for a lady that has rotten teeth and they both are now druggies and im independent and finding a life for myself... as for the ex that just dump me I helped him from day 1 he was no one literally no where in life no goals dream direction nothing then when I met him I encouraged him a stuck by his side he now works fulltime competing in bodybuilding next year and is studying to become a pt I worked sohard for our relationship then he comes home from work one day and says I don't love you anymore I don't have feelings for you anymore and dumps me=[... we lived together in our own place... I know how much the pain hurts u wonder WHY u bothered with this person WHY you put your all into this relationship... I no how u feel

    • my ex then moved back too his moms (me and her never got on) he's her only child

  • I can't stand cheaters honestly, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. But you aren't alone I've only been in one relationship and only had 1 boyfriend but he was a cheater as well, and a player and a jerk and so much more. Try to keep yourself busy and distract yourself, hang out with other people or one of your closest friends. I understand how you feel, Id on't understand why people cheat, maybe they aren't ready to commit in a relationship or maybe because they are just immature. I wish my ex was like you, he didn't do a lot for me, used me, led me on, always made excuses whenever I wanted to see him or hang out with him. I knew he was telling me nothing but lies. And the funny thing is I don't ask for a lot. Try to take baby steps and lean on a someone's shoulder if you need. I had a different way of getting over my ex I don't know if it will help you, but my ex and I go to the same school but I act like he doesn't exist. Don't worry she doesn't deserve you. If I ever met a guy like you that did a lot for me and treated me right and showed me with actions that he loved me then I would never ever cheat on them. Cheating isn't a mistake it is a choice. She doesn't deserve anymore chances from you she has earned her chances from you. You do not deserve her. It could take a couple of days to get her out of your head, maybe weeks or months who knows I know it took months for me and after 5 months I was okay. I understand how that is difficult to recover from but it'll take baby steps and a lot of distracting yourself the best way that you possibly can.

  • My boyfriend who is 26 now dated a girl before me for 3 years. They have a daughter together. He went to jail for a WEEK. The day he went in she left him for his BEST FRIEND. I met him very soon after. I got pregnant. He left me for her. She again left him for his BEST FRIEND. We got back together. I had our son at 25 weeks. We lost him a month and 3 days later. He left me again for some trailer park hoe. She denied him. All in the matter of 3 weeks. I started dating a guy who hit me, Kevin (my boyfriend) gave me a place to sleep until the abuser packed and got out of my house. Kevin and I got back together in that time. Since then we've dated over a year without breaking up, have a handsome newborn boy get his adorable daughter on weekends and have a beautiful house together. He just bought me a car for my 21st birthday...

    Moral of this is my boyfriend who is a few years older than you went through something kind of similar... Kevin told me something a few days ago that put everything into perspective. He loved his ex, but after what she did he could no longer trust her or even me. Why? Because she mentally damaged him. He loved her so much but she just turned away from him and he was scared I'd do it too. However, he trusts me now. Says somehow deep inside he knows I'll never leave (which doesn't take a rocket scientist to know this, I know who my family is and I know where my home is and where I belong). But the fact of that matter is you have to realize what your girlfriend did to you, you two won't work out anymore either way. She's lost your trust and trust is the base of a relationship. Focus on what's in front of you. Take all the hurt she caused and her in a box, shut the box, lock it and look up at your goal. She is the one who is missing out and one day, maybe not today or tomorrow, you'll find the girl that is willing to goto hell just for you to see she loves you unconditionally and won't do anything to hurt you. Ever.

    And that thought right there is what you need to keep in mind to move on.

  • Hello. So sorry for your pain. Here's the bad part - it'll probably hurt a while longer. There are no real shortcuts. The good news is you can invest in things that make you happy and excited - friends, basketball, good music, kearning something new, etc. And little by little, it will get easier.

    • I still hurt over my ex after almost two years. When someone rips your heart out, it's excruciating. If you're struggling - start small. Take a walk around the block, try talking to one person who seems friendly, try going somewhere new - even just for a pizza. Doing things helps keep your mind busy so you don't torment yourself so much. Lots of love, buddy. It will get better.

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