Is my boyfriend cheating on me? How can I know?

Im in a long distance relationship (he comes home in 2 days). I'm worried that my boyfriend is cheating. I'm also really insecure so I don't know if its my insecurity or if this gut feeling is something I should listen to.

Signs:
-he snapchats other girls, one girl in particular. when i ask him about her he says they are only friends and they don't talk or hang out.
-he will Skype me, say his 'guy friend' is the person texting him so much, then when i say "text me?' he lies and says his phone will die so he doesn't have to
-He isn't very sexual. its an LDR but still..
-He goes totally off the radar and won't contact me for hours, especially late at night
-When we fight he wants nothing to do with me, says he 'is busy' and will not tell me why

BUT when i ask him or accuse him at all, he gets really upset. He says I should trust him and that if he wanted to be single, he'd just be single. He says if he was to do that to me, he'd tell me first, and that he never will. He is still affectionate, even if we have fought non-stop he will tell me he loves me and be a sweetheart to me.
But part of me KNOWS that if i ask to see his text message history when he comes home, he would refuse.
What do I do? I love him but I'm so worried. How can I find out if I can trust him?
Updates:
IF he was cheating then why would he go on? He was cheated on in the past and was heartbroken by it and swears he would never do that to anybody bc he knows what it does to someone. Recently he has been saying he could see us being married or together in several years.. but then again a few days ago he changed that and just said "We'll see what happens". We promised to each other to end it if we cheated, so why would he stay with me if he did something?
Where are the biggest signs? We had a huge fight last week so that could be why he is distant, but other times when i talk to him I feel like there's no way he could do that - he loves me too much. He talks to me too much, he's too commited to be doing that. WHen he comes home BEFORE i have sex with him or trust him, I want to find out. How should I approach him? Should I just ask to see his phne and if he says no, call the whole trip off?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • it does sound like something is going on... sorry to say. his behavior seems to indicate that he is maybe doing things he shouldn't. now him being MIA for hours could just him out being social but the snapchat thing might indicate who he is being social with which does raise a red flag.

    as a person who has been cheated on twice, unfortunately signs often times are only that, signs. the could just be flags but nothing else is going on but it could be something is going on. what do your instincts say? perhaps you could talk to a friend who knows your guy and may be able to provide insight based on their knowledge of who he is

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Long distance relationships, helpha, are One of the hardest Relationships to Hold and to Uphold of any... it take two to tango and two to put the time and take the patience into Being in this kind of relationship. And if only One is making the concerted effort to be at One end and on the other end, something isn't smelling right in Denmark, there is a strong possibility That-----This gut feeling is something I should listen to.
    You have a few of the sure signs that he just might be Snap, cracking and popping with 'Other girls, one particular girl.' This could Easily Explain all his lame duck excuses and the ill feelings you are having in the pit of your stomach... I don't believe it's just your Insecurities.
    You say he is 'Coming home in 2 days.' Open lines of communication is one of the most important factors in Any relationship, long distance or right next door. You both need to sit down and get this all out in the open. No matter how 'Upset' he gets, if it's a million times over, tell him you need to talk this out like two soul mates... and with him Now changing his tune to "We'll see what happens," this is also telling me that I don't need to look at any of his 'History,' I pretty much have his number. He may not be 'Cheating' physically right now with any One girl, but when a guy is playing around online with another and Others, he is in essence 'Cheating' and Cheating you... he may want his cake and it Two and not want to lose you.
    Do some soul searching... and keep your eyes open. There may be more signs of the times now that he is back and may do even more------behind your back... stay on your guard.
    I am in a LDR with a husband out in Egypt.. I recognize a few of my own 'Signs' that I pulled on him being back home... trouble was, this Muslim man wasn't stupid. The reason Still our marriage hasn't gone dead in the water is because he has forgiven me and loves me unconditionally. However, he can never really trust me now.
    Good luck. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • I agree with @commiedearest, that whole thing is pretty suspicious. Additionally if a relationship is of long distance the most essential thing that you need to have (even of it wasn't long distance really) is trust, if you can't trust your partner regardless of where they are there's a weakness in that relationship.

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  • well the signs are bad... very bad.
    to be honest i think yes he might be cheating... common in long distance relationships. you can't find out for sure. unless you go see him unannounced. or look at his message history...
    generally when you get suspicious, trust your guts... there is a reason for that feeling you have.

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  • The answer is already in your question proof it to your self by asking for his text history unexpected.
    But ultimately he has not really been acting like much of a boyfriend putting his friends over you and hurting you leaving you at the side of his life from time to time.

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  • Welcome to hell. Your subconscious is screaming at you but you don't believe it. Soon your body is going to get addicted to the horrible emotions and pain. Then you will start to think you are the crazy one. because he will gets mad at the way you treat him. If you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach for god sakes listen to it and don't look back for a minute. You are in control of your life not him. I showed my ex my phone but it turned out she was cheating on me. It's funny how it is your problem not his hmm mm what a great trick to get the topic off him.

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  • It sounds like he is cheating i could be wrong but from what you told here
    too many red flags for him and sometimes LDR don't work out too good
    the thing is he can't text you cause his phone dies, there's been so many
    fights.. I was in LDR with a girl from another country she refused to Skype,
    i made special times to be up in morning to talk online with her, sometimes
    she could talk other times she couldn't, she take long holidays in the month
    of December to the first part of January.. It's terrible but she made me cry
    if she was for real so i do know the red flags.. I did talk 1 time on phone with
    her she had a female voice, so who knows about these people.

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  • Okay.. first off, if you're asking him nicely and not aggresively, then he is hiding something. Coming off aggresively because of passionate feelings tends make you look like you don't trust him. However, a relationship requires trust regardless. Both of you need to discuss this in a controlled fasion where you both are satisfied.. not one person saying "just trust me" and you agreeing. Now, if he still backs out, then you have more reason to push forward and ask. *Note: this could be something personal that he's not sure how to tell you... but regardless, you both need to talk and be open first... now if the problems persist after this, you need to give him a good reason before you persist pursuing the truth.

    I hope everything works out.

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  • My inference is that he's cheating.

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  • LDR = stupid

    Yes, he's "cheating" on you. But is he really? You aren't available to him, so why should he wait? LDRs are not real relationships. The girl he's fucking is his real girl.

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  • Bad signs but still nothing sure
    1more Q ask if u can see his phone message if he deny then I think he did it

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What Girls Said 3

  • If the two of you don't have plans to live closer together in the near future I would nix the relationship. That behavior is suspicious to me, but it also could be nothing.

    Either way, either he's cheating, or you're paranoid... and either way you feel like shit. So why go on with it?

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  • whenever he is home and his phone is lying around take it sneakily and try to see if you can get a peak at his messages or if there's any snapchats not open. if messages are deleted you should confront him because if they're you know he's got something to hide

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  • It serves him to have 2 girls at the same time. You have got to stop believing the stuff that comes out this guy's mouth. You want to believe him and you don't want to dump him, that is clear here, and he knows that too.

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