Would the "no contact rule" help in this situation?

I just broke up with the man I've been seeing for four months yesterday and I feel like it was a no-fault break up. He told me that he was still stupidly in love with his ex. He said that I was a great person and there were times in the relationship when he did feel something for me. He said he was still hurt from the break up and he didn't know what to do to fix it.

I told him that he pretty much made his decision that he did not want to be with me and that we should just let it go. He said sorry and that was it.

We broke up before about a week ago, but I contacted him stupidly. At that time he said that he was okay with us still being friends. I don't want to be his friend like that.
I really don't want to end the relationship to end so I'm wondering if I did the "no contact" method that it might work in the situation.

Could it?
Updates:
I meant to say…I really don't want the relationship to end so I'm wondering if the "no contact" method might work in this situation.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey my gf did the same thing left me like that to "find herself" only to go back to an ex who left her. I was the bf she never had and showed her a different approach on life. She would rather go back to an ex and throw away 11months like that. It's slap in the face honestly. When she knew what kind of guy she had, she sacrificed me to try again.

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    • That sucks that that happened to you but what in the hell does this have to do with the no contact rule?

    • Sorry I got off topic lol, honestly I hate that rule so much. I'm a guy where if I love you I will go and confront you and try to make things work. I love confrontation but if the other person isn't willing to fight for the relationship it's best to do no contact, cause they won't change their mind instantly, they will over time.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I guess it's possible that if you break all ties he will realise that he was a fool and that there is no point in bemoaning the loss of his ex. Regardless of that, you should still do no contact. Not because you're hoping that he will come back and forget about his ex, but because you need to move on. The only way to move on is if you stop ALL contact. The only way for someone to miss you is also no contact. But first and foremost you need to move on, if he ends up coming to his senses that is a bonus, but should not be your main motivation.

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    • Thank you for a least half way answering my question.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • I believe in the no contact rule in any situation. As in, make a clean break and walk away from what's not working for you. Why would you want to be with a guy who wants to be with someone else, who's putting his mental and emotional energy into thinking about how to fix things with someone else? I understand feeling heartsick, but first and foremost you have to. respect yourself and recognize what you deserve. Then find it.

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  • I've used just that excuse -- still not over my ex, you're amazing, wish I felt differently etc. etc. Thing is, if he wanted to be with you enough, he'd have gotten over her by now, because he'd be too into you to remember her.

    I'm sorry, but I think you should move on.

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    • That's sorriest excuse for an answer I've even seen on here.

      No. 1 you don't even know WHEN he broke up with her. How in the fuck can you tell when he should be over someone?

      No 2. You don't know everything he said to me but you can tell me you had the same excuse?

      No 3. You just had to throw in there the he just didn't want to be with me? He said to me that if he could he would be with me in a heartbeat if he wasn't still hurt by the breakup. People are so quick to throw that "he's just not in to you" horse shit at people. Keep that high and mighty bullshit to yourself.

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    • I don't undersand why are you on here then, this is a website where we can say what ever we want, and share stories to help eachother out. You obviously need therapy cause you can't handle your ex leaving you, get off this site if your not open to random people talking about their past, and relating it to yours. You obviously arnt mature, if you feel the need to cuss in your replies. Good luck with your love life ! :)

    • Yeah, as a girl, I've used that excuse to end things too... not proud of it, but it usually does the job.

  • It is clear. He is not the right guy for you, especially that he told you he still loves his ex.
    The no-contact is not a choice, it's what you have to do. If you contact him he will think you are trying to convince him to be yours.

    So girl save yourself pain and move on. You will forget him. Delete his phone number.

    The friendship thing does not work.

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